“Hendrix, I swear I did not have sex with anyone last night.” His jaw ticks. “But I’m so, so sorry. For being so callous. For shutting you out. And I hate that I did that last night, had those women there, and more so, I hate that you saw me do that to you.” He shakes his head, runs his hand down his face. “I—I couldn’t do anything more than what you saw. They weren’t you. You’re my . . . my fucking everything. How can I convince you that I love you? Because I can’t live without you.”

I don’t have an answer. Not a real one. So I throw out the only thing I can think of. “Tell me about the woman at the shelter. Your mom?”

He blows out a breath, his fingers twitching like he wants to reach for something—maybe his hat, maybe me—but instead, he just nods. “You play dirty.”

“No. I’m desperate to understand you and for this to work, I need to. In order for you to deserve my love, I have to understand the one thing that made you who you are.”

“Okay.” He lifts his hat, runs a hand through his hair, and exhales. “My dad left with Nathaniel when I was eight. He chose the orderly, non-troubled kid to take with him and his new family and left the kid who was too loud, got in a little too much trouble, behind. I was left with a mother who was schizophrenic, who would disappear for days on end without warning. That’s why I tell you where I am and when to expect me back, so you never have to wonder and wait like I did. It happened gradually, the illness stealing her mind until one day, she left and never came back.”

I press my lips together, my heart breaking for the boy he was and for the man he’s had to work to become.

“Jase—”

“Let me get it out. Please.” His voice wavers. “I was seventeen when it happened. I didn’t tell anyone. Didn’t want to be put in foster care and sure as hell didn’t want to live with the man who left me behind. So I lived at our apartment, deposited the checks my dad sent, and tried my luck at being on my own as long as I could. It was far from easy, but I managed. Made the bet with Rocket, and you know the rest.”

I watch him as he speaks, the rawness in his voice unravels me. The hurt. The anger. My love for him.