As campers go, the gang’s all here: Molly, Marcos, Drew, Lacrishia, Darcy, and me. The Beginners aren’t here, so it’s Unders and Overs only. When I meet Darcy’s placid, calculating eyes across the huddle of campers, her secret message to me returns with a slapping jolt: When they ask you to be my husband, say yes.

“Ramona, I’m sad you won’t be giving sermons anymore,” Drew whines from the back. He pouts next to a frightening painting of a squid strangling a clipper ship, his face framed by a mane of golden hair—rope thick from months of weak island showers.

Miss Manners pivots to him: “Thanks, dumpling. Just glad to have the whole family back.”

While our teacher jumps into an introduction about “finding straightness by learning your place in the home,” Molly whispers: “Miss Manners was in charge until the night we arrived. When the Reverend isn’t here, Briggs is in charge. When they’re both gone, she is.”

“Your cabin just told you everything, huh?” I whisper with more than a little bitterness. Apparently, Darcy handed Molly the whole inside scoop on Nightlight the moment she woke up, while all I got was some stuck-up supermodel, a kid having a fit, and Marcos. Marcos could’ve easily caught me up on what to expect, who is who, any tips at all. Nope. He just tut-tutted the way I made my bed and left me to puzzle it all out myself.

Marcos: “Here’s a camp, figure it out.”

Darcy: “Here’s a note, figure it out.”

Ricky: “Here’s a warning, figure it out.”

I’m going to figure it all out, no thanks to Marcos, who is currently listening to Miss Manners with rapt attention. A strand of his slicked hair tumbles over his glasses, and my legs shiver at how painfully cute he is with his smooth, almost chubby cheeks.

Ever since my coming out flopped, it depresses me to find guys cute—it’s not a pleasurable feeling, I know that. Not the kind straight people get. They can check each other out and don’t have to think of ten thousand other annoying things at once: What’s it gonna do to my mom? Is it gonna get me cut off? If I’m cut off, will I be able to afford college on my own? Is some guy gonna punch me for looking at him? Will I be sent to some dangerous jungle camp?

Can a cute guy be worth all this trouble? Ario pushed me out of the gay nest too soon, and I’ve fallen splat onto the sidewalk. Maybe I need to just spend a year raising Avery with Vicky, give myself time to figure myself out, away from Mom and the Reverend.