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Chapters (43)
  1. Author’s Note with Content Warnings
  2. CHAPTER ONE
  3. CHAPTER TWO
  4. CHAPTER THREE
  5. CHAPTER FOUR
  6. CHAPTER FIVE
  7. CHAPTER SIX
  8. CHAPTER SEVEN
  9. CHAPTER EIGHT
  10. CHAPTER NINE
  11. CHAPTER TEN
  12. CHAPTER ELEVEN
  13. CHAPTER TWELVE
  14. CHAPTER THIRTEEN
  15. CHAPTER FOURTEEN
  16. CHAPTER FIFTEEN
  17. CHAPTER SIXTEEN
  18. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
  19. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
  20. CHAPTER NINETEEN
  21. CHAPTER TWENTY
  22. CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
  23. CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
  24. CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
  25. CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
  26. CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
  27. CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
  28. CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
  29. CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
  30. CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
  31. CHAPTER THIRTY
  32. CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
  33. CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
  34. CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
  35. CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
  36. CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
  37. CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
  38. CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
  39. CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
  40. CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
  41. CHAPTER FORTY
  42. EPILOGUE
  43. Acknowledgments

Finally, embracing Ricky’s urn, I find the clarity and courage to reply to Semriss Mann in English: See you soon. I seal the comment with a lipstick kiss emoji and hit send. The thrill of striking back at Miss Manners, my first strike of many to come, wakes my heart out of the deep sleep of depression. The evil is still out there, and must always be fought. Nightlight is a hand that reaches beyond the island. It’s a poison that leaves no one unscalded or unchanged. This began with Ricky, but we are all Ricky. And I’m more than ready to take them on, whatever it takes, as long as it takes.

Yet for now, there’s Christmas to enjoy with Marcos. I’ll tell him in time, and Agent Elms, and anyone else who will listen. We’ll take these people on together.

As we return to Evelyn’s, heading down the boulevard Ricky and Rigo called home years ago—to buy groceries, to go to parties, to feel the sun together—Marcos’s hand finds mine.

And somehow, there’s no more pain.

Acknowledgments

Acknowledgments

Just as Connor Major couldn’t escape Nightlight on his own, I depended on many others to get this book into the world. I began writing what would eventually become Surrender Your Sons in 2013. That’s over six years. A serpentine journey of setbacks, rejections, and revisions that took me from rough concepts to the shelf of your local bookstore.

My first and biggest thanks is to my editor, Mari Kesselring, who took a chance on a weird, darkly funny book about queer trauma. It was a mixture that scared away many people, but I’ll be forever grateful to Mari, Ashtyn Stann, Megan Naidl, and the entire Flux team for seeing this through.

I can’t speak about being given a chance without thanking my agent, the great Eric Smith, whose positivity never wavered that Connor and the gang would find a home in the end. Surrender Your Sons was always about Connor versus the Reverend on an island conversion camp, but beyond that, this manuscript existed in multiple, radically different forms. In fact, it began as an adult fantasy novel set in the 1980s. Connor and the Reverend were British and battled each other with mystical superpowers (not a joke—don’t ask). It was…not ready yet. Some tough love was required. In 2016, that tough love came from Eric, who rejected one of these early versions, but reached out a few months later reminding me to hang in there. That belief was like a match in a hurricane for me. Thanks is also due to Connor Goldsmith, who convinced me to make this YA, and to Alyssa Jennette, who convinced me to remove the fantasy elements. Sometimes when agents reject you, you learn your best lessons.