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Back Surrender Your Sons Save as PDF
Chapters (43)
  1. Author’s Note with Content Warnings
  2. CHAPTER ONE
  3. CHAPTER TWO
  4. CHAPTER THREE
  5. CHAPTER FOUR
  6. CHAPTER FIVE
  7. CHAPTER SIX
  8. CHAPTER SEVEN
  9. CHAPTER EIGHT
  10. CHAPTER NINE
  11. CHAPTER TEN
  12. CHAPTER ELEVEN
  13. CHAPTER TWELVE
  14. CHAPTER THIRTEEN
  15. CHAPTER FOURTEEN
  16. CHAPTER FIFTEEN
  17. CHAPTER SIXTEEN
  18. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
  19. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
  20. CHAPTER NINETEEN
  21. CHAPTER TWENTY
  22. CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
  23. CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
  24. CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
  25. CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
  26. CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
  27. CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
  28. CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
  29. CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
  30. CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
  31. CHAPTER THIRTY
  32. CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
  33. CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
  34. CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
  35. CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
  36. CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
  37. CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
  38. CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
  39. CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
  40. CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
  41. CHAPTER FORTY
  42. EPILOGUE
  43. Acknowledgments

Something had been torn off the wall in my cabin—only jagged corkboard and bits of glue were left behind.

A Polaroid blossoms open in my hand, and I pinch the plastic so the wind won’t catch it. In the picture, a teenage boy smiles with baggy, tired eyes. Despite that, he’s gorgeous—long, wavy black hair frames an oval face and pouty lips. My first thought is, I want to hold him. My second thought is, Oh shit.

STANLEY PACKARD. 1990 to 1991.

The Reverend. He was a camper at the same time as Ricky.

Reverend Packard glowers over me, his long hair decades gone, his pouty lips now pursed into a thin, angry line almost vanished behind his beard. “You were a camper,” I whisper.

“I took down my picture because I was…I didn’t want you thinking of me as some ex-camper. But telling the truth can be addictive, once you get a taste for it.”

The Reverend’s father was the perfect man for the job…because his son would be first on the chopping block. I can’t combine the boy in the picture with the man handcuffed to me. The idea is so repulsive, it refuses to take root.

“So, don’t say you can’t, Mr. Major,” he sneers. “Because I did.”

The Reverend is gay too. I know I can reach him. I can make him understand about Vicky, and he’ll send me home. Maybe he isn’t even the one who hurt Ricky. Maybe he’s just covering for someone. Gays can still commit anti-gay attacks, but…maybe I’ve been thinking about this all wrong? Sea wind blows in, fast and cold. The Reverend pushes a miniature key into the lock on my wrist, and my hand breathes free air.

He won’t hurt me. He won’t push me.

“Talking to you, I’m relieved.” The Reverend sighs. “I brought you here to find out what you know, and what you know is…nothing.” The Reverend staggers toward the Wrangler. “Ricky wrote you a goodbye note. He left me one too.”

“What did yours say?”

“There is still time.” He smiles, almost cruel. “You tell me you’re this boy’s father, but you’re just a kid. You refused to admit it after months of people asking, months of Vicky struggling on her own. You finally confessed when you thought you were in danger—a convenient moment for you. Your mom told me if you did confess, to send you home immediately. But I have got to be satisfied. Let go of Ricky, and I’ll think about it.”