Stay away from the horse, okay? I don’t have to tell you that heroin is killer shit. Once you start smoking it, you’re just one small step from shooting up. And you and I both know that if there’s lots of it around, sooner or later that’s what a few guys are going to try. Hey, can you believe it? Ever think you’d hear Loogie lecture you about drugs? . . .

Monday, July 14

“If you don’t believe in a Supreme Being, what is the basis for your personal moral code?” In the church basement, Charles is running through the questions I can expect the draft board to ask.

“To me, if you believe in God, you’re not obligated to have a moral code,” I answer. “The responsibility’s off your shoulders because you expect him to enforce morality for all. But if you believe there is no God, then you, the individual, are obligated to be moral, because no one else is going to do the job for you. And if no one’s moral, humanity and civilization collapse. So the individual must carry the responsibility to be moral on his shoulders. That’s why I can’t kill another human being. It is my responsibility to live a moral life, and to adhere to it because I can’t expect anyone else to do it for me.”

“What if it’s a question of kill or be killed?” Charles asks. His boots are up on the corner of the desk again.

“Thomas Aquinas postulated that for a war to be just, the following four conditions have to be met: The war has to have just cause. It has to be declared by a proper authority. It has to possess the right intention. And it has to have a reasonable chance of success. Vietnam fails every condition. It’s a political conflict, which is not considered a just cause. It’s never been officially declared a war by any authority. The reason it’s officially labeled a conflict is because the United States is not in danger and therefore has no legitimate grounds for being there. The same goes for intention. Who are we to decide what form of government the Vietnamese people should have? That’s their decision, not ours. And as far as having a reasonable chance of success? Even the president of the United States has basically admitted we’re not going to win. Last year the best he could do was promise there would be an honorable end to the conflict, whatever that means.

“Therefore, according to my belief, to fight in Vietnam shouldn’t come down to a choice between kill or be killed, because it is wrong for us to be there in the first place. But if I did find myself in a position where I was ordered to kill another human being, I wouldn’t be able to. I’d refuse and suffer the consequences.”