And how am I supposed to air dry my crotch? WALK AROUND THE BASE BAREASS NAKED?

But that’s typical of what’s wrong with everything here. You got the brass hats sitting in air-conditioned offices in Washington that don’t know shit about what it’s like here. Probably they don’t want to know.

You know all that stuff you used to say about military contracts going to the lowest bidder and American companies getting rich while they sell the army crap gear? You were so right, Loogs. The gooks have Russian AK-47s — a hundred times better weapon than our M-16s that jam all the time and need constant cleaning. The other day a squad got wiped out near here and when the rescue teams brought back the bodies and gear guess what? HALF THE RIFLES WERE JAMMED!

When our weapons aren’t jamming, we get blown up by land mines and fall into punji stick booby traps that are so sharp they go right through the bottom of your boot.

Know what a punji pit is? The VC dig holes about 4 or 5 feet deep with punji sticks sticking up from the bottom. They cover the top of the hole with tree branches and grass. You can’t see them on night patrol. Guys fall in and get impaled. And the VC cover the sticks with animal shit so the wounds get good and infected.

So many guys refuse to go on night patrol now that if they court-martialed all of us there’d be NO ONE LEFT TO FIGHT THIS STUPID WAR. A LT got fragged the other night for ordering his men to go out to the perimeter. I felt bad about that. The guy was a dick for sure, but I heard he had a wife and kids back home.

It’s so friggin hard to live like this. If it wasn’t for Thai stick and horse I would seriously think of offing myself. A guy in the next company did it. Hung himself from a lychee tree so everyone saw him hanging there in the morning.

Can’t say I blame him.

What’s the latest with your draft status? DON’T EVER LET YOURSELF GET SENT OVER HERE, MY FRIEND.

Peace,

Chris

Dear Chris,

Every time I get one of your letters I’m just glad you’re alive (even though I know it sucks over there big-time). Man, the stories you tell tear me up inside. So that squad that got wiped out was being attacked and in the middle of it their guns stopped working? It’s unbelievable! I mean, it’s bad enough that the government has decided it’s all right if you die as long as ten VC also croak, but the same government giving you crap weapons to fight with? That is some seriously fucked-up shit.