The child inside me rose, needing the guidance of an adult. A child desperate to be told that everything would be all right, that it wasn’t my fault. I glanced at the other end of Perkins, the concern on everyone’s faces. He was maimed for life. There are penalties for wrongdoing and at that moment, I feared I should be hung for this.

No, no, don’t even think such things!

I was going mad with the worry, but one wrong had led to another and somebody should pay. I shouldn’t have lied about my age, that was the start of it all. One small, simple lie had led to this carnage, and I had a terrible feeling it wasn’t over. ‘I’m not fit to be left in charge – to use my initiative.’

The chaplain stared at me, trying to make sense of my jumbled words. ‘I don’t think you should give any more blood, child,’ he said. ‘You’re in danger of becoming a little hysterical.’

I fought the temptation to tell him that I had opened the portholes. Perhaps all the Corporal’s fellow patients had perished. I hung my head. I had to do everything I could to try and save his life.

Nobody must ever know I was responsible, but what if Perkins told, and what would his reaction be when he discovered he’d lost a foot? Yet what difference would the truth make to anyone now? I must take my secret to the grave, and along my journey through life, I swore I would do everything I could to atone for the terrible thing I’d done.

The Corporal’s eyes fluttered and opened a little. ‘I died,’ he slurred. ‘I find myself in the arms of an angel.’

I stroked his cheek. ‘Behave, Corporal. Heaven’s full enough after today, so you’re on leave for a while.’ A splash on his cheek confused me for a moment, then I realised it was one of my tears.

His eyes narrowed. ‘My head feels pretty close to Heaven already, nurse.’

Realising the proximity of the soldier’s head to my woman parts, I felt myself blushing again. ‘I’m warning you, Corporal Perkins, any nonsense and you’ll be over the side.’

He closed his eyes and smiled. ‘Don’t cry, nurse, I’ll look after you. Do I have all my limbs?’

I looked at the surgeon. He put a finger to his lips and shook his head.

‘As far as I can see,’ I said. ‘It’s difficult to tell. But you’d better make sure you keep control of them, or you’ll find yourself in a greater predicament.’ I held his head to my chest to prevent him from looking down and seeing his elevated leg. He turned his head towards my breasts, smiled, and closed his eyes again. He became so still, I wondered if he was still conscious.