‘Sorry about that. I really want to give you a hug, hold you close to me and kiss you – and the pain of not being able to – not once for twenty years, is more than I can take, David. Do you understand?’ She sighed, frustrated. ‘No, of course you don’t, and perhaps it’s just as well. So goodbye, my darling; be as happy as you can be.’ She stood and watched him for a moment, his attention never wavering from the coloured bricks and the bucket.

*

Outside the care home, Shelly allowed the tears to run freely down her cheeks. She cried until her broken heart was completely drained, then she hurried into the Ladies just inside the entrance and tidied herself up. Simon had gone in to see David, as was their routine. Shelly had an appointment with the Matron, and told the woman that she was not coming back, but she would continue with David’s upkeep expenses.

‘A wise decision,’ Matron said. ‘To tell you the truth, Shelly, your visits confuse him, and he’s unsettled for a couple of days after you’ve been.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘It had to be your decision. We’ll let you know if there’s any change, so you never have to worry about him, and you can still visit if you ever change your mind.’ She picked up a pen and turned it over in her hand. ‘There comes a time to stop living in the past, Shelly. If David understood, which he can’t of course, he wouldn’t want you to hold back. He loved you, still does in his way, so go and live a happy life while you still have time.’

*

Back home, Shelly slumped into a chair and wondered if she had the energy to listen to another of Gran Gertie’s tapes. She thought about DJ, then David in the home. One day, she might tell DJ about David. Perhaps she would bring him with her to see him, if he wanted to. But not yet. It was too great a burden for a boy so young. She decided to tell Dad of her decision tomorrow, but for the moment, she owed herself a large glass of red, and perhaps she would listen to ten minutes of Gran Gertie.

Her great-grandmother’s strength of spirit had helped Shelly to come to this difficult decision today, and she was grateful. She glanced at the window. Light flooded in now that the big old oak tree had gone. Her spirits lifted; she must search for some acorns in the morning and pot them up. A new beginning.

Chapter 46

CHAPTER 46

GERTIE

Dover, 1917.