‘Steady now. We’ve got nothing to get upset about, have we?’ A man stuck his head out and called Josephine into the inquiry. ‘You can’t remember,’ she said quietly one last time before leaving me.

I nodded, stood, and smiled as Merriberry and my papa approached. ‘Hello, Father,’ I said. Though the corners of his mouth twitched upward, he appeared tired. ‘Thank you for coming to meet me.’ I kissed his cheek. His dull eyes crinkled as he smiled.

‘It so happens I was in the area on some business,’ he said. ‘A coincidence that means we can travel home together after the hearing.’

‘I can’t wait to see Mother. It’s been so long.’

Merriberry turned my way. ‘You’ll be given the statutory leave after a sinking. You have thirty days with your family, Miss Smith.’

She tugged her tan cape around her body, reminding me of a brown cocoon our Arthur once kept in a box in his bedroom, waiting all winter for the beautiful creature to emerge the following spring. It didn’t. I couldn’t help thinking that Merriberry would never emerge as a butterfly either.

‘Miss Smith, please!’

The call came from behind me. Merriberry placed her hand on my shoulder. ‘Gertie, they will understand. It’s normal to forget what happened after such a traumatic event. Relax now.’

I nodded rapidly, glanced at my father, then walked stiffly into the inquiry.

Inside the oak-panelled room, I was reminded of our courthouse in Dover. Six rows of spectators were tightly packed along the back of the hall; before that, men with notebooks scribbled frantically and I guessed they were the press. Before them, a row of men in uniform, and I dared not scrutinise their faces in case our captain was among them.

The official led me to a pulpit next to a row of men who had piles of documents in front of them, and a stenographer who recorded everything. My poor heart was thumping like the blazes. They made me swear to tell the truth, then asked me to repeat all the events of that day, starting with me waking up.

I told them everything in the most minute detail, and noticed some roll their eyes when I said I should get a new toothbrush because my bristles were becoming sparse.

‘The problem is, I can’t remember anything after leaving my cabin,’ I said with conviction. ‘It’s all such a blank. As far as I can guess, it was the same as every other morning.’

‘Do you remember what you had for breakfast?’ one of the men on the bench asked.

I remembered Matron’s words. Why would she make such a point if not for me to repeat it?

‘Oh, yes. We had brown bread with raspberry jam.’

‘So what time was this, Miss Smith?’