“Well, that’s the easy part: by accepting Jesus in their heart. And the way they do that is to find a pure spiritual home. Our church, the Glorious Return of the Lord,” Patricia said. She pulled a stack of pamphlets out of her purse and held them toward me. They had donation envelopes stapled to the backs.

She waved them around until I took them.

Joe cleared his throat. “Now, I can feel Jesus speaking to me, and we can see you are very interested in becoming a true believer, Annie—”

“Amy,” Melissa said, correcting her father, with a smirk.

“We would love to welcome you to the church and help you save your soul,” he continued.

“What would she have to do?” Melissa said with a wide smile, mood suddenly lifted. She was enjoying this payback.

“A small tithe. Only five thousand dollars to start, and then monthly after. Of course, if she recruits other true believers, that amount will decrease,” Patricia said.

I stared at her and then down at the pamphlets, barely concealing a laugh. It was a multilevel marketing megachurch scheme. There was nothing spiritual or holy about these people. They just wanted money.

I looked up and shook my head. “I don’t really have that kind of money, but thank you. I guess I will have to take my chances during the Rapture.”

Their eyes hardened, and Patricia held her hand out for the pamphlets, which I hurriedly shoved back to her. Melissa stifled a laugh and took a long sip of her “virgin” iced tea.

See? Now do you see?

“I must be going. So nice to meet you both,” I said as I turned to leave.

“I’ll just see Amy out,” Melissa said. She followed me, and once we got inside, she said, “Told you.”

We walked through the kitchen to the front door. “I’m so sorry. I just came over to tell you—” The entire incident with the Roomba came flooding back. The screams, the sparks, the sound of metal screeching. Emily’s words. But it wasn’t the time to tell her that her childhood fears might be real. “Nothing. It can wait. You’re safe, though?”

She leaned against the open front door and sighed. “If they don’t leave soon, I’m going to be the one speaking in tongues.”

I gave her a sympathetic look and a goodbye hug before I jogged down the street to my house, back to the scene of Darlene’s crimes.

CHAPTER
15

That night, after I ordered a new vacuum on Amazon, one that was not robotically controlled, I tried to explain to Mark what had happened. He looked confused and wondered if some kind of electrical surge had caused Darlene to malfunction. I murmured, “Not likely,” and then grabbed my phone and walked out the front door. Enough of this shit. It was time to see Liz again and find out what was going on.