God, I felt like such a bastard. He didn’t message me back, and maybe I was too late. Maybe he was already in there, being grilled about Nova and I, instead of talking about the fucking sport we were all here for. He was going to punch me in the face, and I definitely deserved it.

I started the car and pulled out into the heavy traffic leaving the arena. We were silent the whole way home, and I felt like a complete and utter asshole.

Because I didn’t regret kissing Nova. I just regretted getting caught. I was an asshole because I wanted to do it again. Over and over, until I was branded on her lips forever.

Chapter Twenty-One

NOVA

My thoughts were whirling so fast that it was hard to latch on to any of them. Except the one that thumped around in my brain like a shoe in a clothes dryer.

I’d kissed River. And really, really liked it.

We drove home silently, and as soon as River stopped the car, I had the door flung open and was all but running up to the nursery to check on Huey. Not that I thought he was anything but happy and healthy—and probably sound asleep—but I needed an excuse to get away and center my thoughts.

Didn’t help, though. Once I’d laid eyes on Huey, who was sound asleep in his crib, I went and flopped down on my bed and chased my thoughts for what felt like hours.

I’d let Rigby tongue-fuck me in the kitchen this afternoon, and hours later, I was enjoying his best friend’s lips on mine. Did that make me a whore? Did I care if it did?

I didn’t regret either action, which was what made it worse. What I regretted was the possible consequence of me not being able to keep my libido in check.

Huey needed the guys; that was becoming more and more clear. They loved him, and he adored them. The relief of having others to lean on during this parenthood thing was so all-consuming, I would almost become a nun to keep it. I wasn’t sure I could go back to doing it alone. I would if I had to, but I was strong enough to admit it would be hard to be a solo parent.

I also didn’t want to come between River and Rigby. I’d only had to peek at River’s face to see the regret painted all over it. He regretted that he’d kissed me, and that hurt. I hadn’t expected it; I hadn’t even initiated it. But I’d hoped for it, somewhere deep down, and that's why it felt so bad.