I’m okay.

All right.

I suppose if the world is your construct then to discuss it in terms of its own autonomy is going to be an uncertain business. It’s a perception, and as such I’m not sure what it would mean for it to have its own life. I would say that it doesnt. It has your life. And then it doesnt.

This is something you’ve said before.

I suppose.

To other counselors.

Yes.

How did they respond?

They didnt.

And what would you do?

I dont know. I’ve broken out laughing on occasion.

But you were serious in what you said.

Yes.

And what would they do then?

You know what they would do.

Write it down.

Yes.

What would they write?

Who knows? Patient possibly hebephrenic. Anyway, all of this became less of a concern. I couldnt take them seriously.

What made it less of a concern?

Greater concerns.

I never know how seriously to take remarks like that.

I know.

When you were on antipsychotics the visitations stopped.

The visitations.

Yes.

It sounds like a religious experience.

Sorry.

That a drug can restructure the world into something like an objective reality is a claim with as little validity as the objective reality itself. I think what I said at the time was that I had no more reason to place my confidence in a drugged state of mind than in a sober one.

You wouldnt be willing to try another medication.

You asked me that.

All right. If someone were to come into the room while the Kid was there might they see him?

And that. But probably not.

But not exclusively not.

I dont know.

If they were on the reality drug with the rest of us then I suppose not.

I suppose.

Do you want to take a break?

Sure. How about a smoke?

Why not.

You dont carry those around with you.

No.

You keep them in the bottom drawer. So that nobody will carry them off?

So far so good.

Thank you. Did you bring an ashtray?

Yes. You could take those with you if you like.

That’s all right. I’m not much of a smoker.

It’s relaxing?

I dont know. Maybe it’s being bad.

Really?

Sure.

How old were you when you first smoked a cigarette?

Three.

That’s not true.

No. But not that much older. I stole a cigarette from my uncle’s pack on the coffeetable and took a match from the kitchen and went out to the smokehouse and lit up. I was probably six.

Did you get sick?

What I remember was my head swimming. Still, I thought that if grown-ups did this there must be a reason for it.

I’m guessing that was a view with a limited shelflife.

I dont think most children seriously consider the fact that they are going to be adults one day. And that this is what they’ll look like.

Did you?

Yes.

And?

I didnt see any way out of it.