I’m sorry. You’ve lost me.

The Kid.

Oh. Yes. By whom was he sent then?

I dont know. He’s no more mysterious than the deeper questions about any other reality. Or mathematics. For that matter. Forms turning in a nameless void. Salvaged out of a bleak sea of the incomputable. Time’s up.

VI

Good morning.

Good morning.

You look different.

The slow pallor. The distant gaze. You yourself look a bit exercised.

I was lucky to get here. The roads are terrible.

You’re careful not to tell me much about yourself. Your life. Maybe you should hew less closely to the party line.

Well. I told you that I was married. Twice to the same woman. Two kids. What did you want to know?

What’s your daughter’s name?

Rachel.

Lovely name. A sad name. How old is she?

She’s nine.

What’s she like?’

She’s not sad.

Not yet.

You dont think that’s an odd thing to say?

I think you name your children who you want them to be. What would she be like if her name was Dolly? She’s thoughtful.

She is thoughtful. Yes.

Tall and slender. She has dark hair. She’s smart. She likes cats. She’s hard on her little brother. Unless he hurts himself. Then she’s the first one there.

You could do this in the circus sideshow.

Maybe I’ll meet her sometime. Has she ever been here?

No. I dont think so. No. She hasnt.

You should go ahead.

As in my turn?

Yes.

Okay. What could you tell me that you’ve never told anyone before?

Any analyst before.

Okay. Any analyst.

Tons of stuff.

Just something of some significance. That you’ve thought about. Maybe a question that you’ve thought about raising but never did.

You think that we’re running out of time.

I dont know. Are we?

Dunno.

It doesnt have to be something personal. It doesnt even have to be something about you.

Who would it be about?

It could be anything. It could be a decision that you’d arrived at. Or something that you’d realized.

Realized.

Yes.

Odd locution. Literally of course it means to make real. What if I just told you some monstrous lie?

Why would you?

I wouldnt. I said what if. I think you tend to believe about anything I tell you.

Am I too trusting? Too gullible?

No. I think you’re about right.

Go ahead.

I went on the road. A geographical. I spent a couple of months just driving around the country. I ate and showered in truckstops and slept mostly in the car.

Were you doing math?

No. I did a lot of reading. I’d check in to some cheap hotel in Boise or someplace and just hole up. I’d leave the car in a mall parkinglot and take the coil wire with me.

What was the point?

That was the point. I was reading four and five books a day. Some of the stuff I was looking for had been out of print forever. I would bogus up university IDs and get a library card. I read books that hadnt been checked out in forty years.