When I lost Nirvaan, I lost not just the person I called my boyfriend, but also my dearest friend and confidant. I lost my home. Could I not have Skyped him and tried to keep the relationship alive? Maybe I could’ve. But he was so broken when I told him I was leaving that I wasn’t sure if he even wanted to keep in touch with me. More than that, it felt like keeping in touch would do him more harm than good.

When I left India, I didn’t just lose Nirvaan, I lost my family too. Considering the way I’d rebelled and left home, I didn’t want to stay connected with my parents after that. I do call up my mom sometimes—she wasn’t so much at fault for what happened after all. But she knows nothing about my life, really. I’ve always had a broken family. But Nirvaan was my only true family, the only person who ever felt like home. I could tell him anything. And I lost all of it when I came to the US.

I order my usual cup of coffee and pick up a book from the corner shelf. When there is no one around to talk to, I find solace in the company of books. I’ve barely started to read the book and sip on my coffee when I’m distracted by a very familiar voice calling my name, ‘Kiana!’

I stiffen in response. I can never forget this voice because it belongs to the person who gave me my American nickname: Kiana. And while this person exited my life a few years ago, the nickname stayed, even though officially, on all the paperwork, my name is still Kiranjeet. I slowly look up and see Liam, my ex-boyfriend, and a woman who could only be his wife standing in front of my table. And that’s not all, there’s a baby peeking out from a baby carrier fastened to Liam’s back.

‘Oh! Hi, long time.’ That’s all that finds its way out of my mouth. I feel a sudden urge to leave Josie’s right away. What is Liam even doing in Chicago?!

‘Hi, so you’re still in Chicago?’ Liam asks, and without waiting for my reply, he continues, ‘I moved here recently. Margaret’s family lives here, in the suburbs. We’re in Old Irving Park, close to her family home.’ He smiles.

So that’s Margaret. It bothers me that both Liam and his wife look completely unperturbed about this meeting. Margaret even smiles politely at me.

‘Ah, it’s a beautiful neighbourhood. There’s a bookshop there that I visit quite frequently,’ I reply in a flat voice.