Why have I been stalking her more than ever over the last few weeks? So, here’s the deal: I came across Asmitha’s company and AILENA, the new AI-based dating app that they’re about to launch, in an article in TechCrunch. If I’ve been stalking her right, this is going to be her third venture since college.

I’m not sitting in front of my laptop, with my fingers crossed, excited to sign up for this new app because I’m looking for a date or for love. No, no. I just want to find out if she’s taken any ideas from our university project. If she has, I can probably sue her for millions and then use that money to travel the world and post pictures like my favourite Indian blogger Ramy does. Oh yes, On the Open Road is my favourite blog. That could be my happily ever after. God knows though whether I’ll also fall in love with a hot Italian or French guy while travelling. Even having these thoughts makes me grin!

But the truth is, it’s nearly impossible to be chosen as a beta tester, especially when they need just two people from amongst all the crazy, love-seeking weirdos from across the world who want to find love via this supposedly revolutionary app. If you understand mathematical probability, then you’ll know that the chances of my getting selected are as low as winning a public lottery. But I don’t mind trying. So, with a prayer in my heart, I duly fill in my data as soon as the link goes live and hit send.

And ta-da! I’m done.

I look up from my laptop screen to see that it has started raining outside. The entire city, so perfectly lit up, is now all but lost in the grey clouds that seem to be rolling towards my abode. The tiny droplets of rainwater running down the glass wall merge with each other as they flow down the length of the building, much like how people fall for each other and fall with each other when they’re in love. The scene outside looks like a blurred piece of modern art done in shades of grey and black. Or perhaps it would be better to describe it as a photograph taken to study the bokeh effect.

Whenever it rains, I miss the intoxicating smell of wet soil. Here, everything is made with cement and concrete. The streets are laid with a heating technology that automatically melts the snow during winter. The entire city is kept so clean that you hardly see any pests or insects. The kitchen sinks are so immaculate and the drainage systems so top-notch that you don’t have to worry about cockroaches taking over your kitchen once you turn off the lights and go to sleep. Lizards are a distant dream. That’s how sterile the whole city is.