But our conversation pushes me deep into a confusing whirlpool of questions and feelings. Why did Kiana say no? I thought the day had gone well. Had I said something or done something that upset her? Even as I try to make sense of things, I find myself thinking of the day when Kiranjeet told me that she was breaking up with me.

It happened the morning after she’d suddenly appeared at my house at night, and said that she was too afraid to sleep alone in her room. I could sense that something was off, but I decided not to question her about it right then and there. Instead, I told her that she could sleep over at my house. The next day, before she went back home, she’d told me that she wanted to pursue her ambitions in the US and that she couldn’t stay back in India. And then she’d literally fled. I’d been worried and confused all day after that, and when the phone rang later in the night, I’d jumped to answer the call.

‘Hello?!’ I heard Kiranjeet’s voice on the other end.

‘Hi. Why aren’t you asleep?’ I asked her.

‘I can’t go to sleep,’ she confessed.

‘Why?’

‘Nirvaan, I want to tell you something; it’s been troubling me for a while now,’ she whispered.

‘Okay, what is it?’

‘We need to break up, Nirvaan,’ she said, sounding like a programmed answering machine.

‘What? Is this a prank?’ I demanded. But Kiranjeet didn’t say anything. ‘What went wrong, Kiranjeet? Are you okay?’ It felt like I was in the middle of a nightmare. It couldn’t possibly be true.

‘I told you in the morning. I’ve decided to move to the US for further studies,’ she continued robotically.

‘But we discussed this! You said you’ll take a gap year and attempt the JEE once again. And then you’d apply to the same college as me so that we can be together once again!’

‘And what if things don’t go according to plan? My uncle has offered to sponsor my college tuition costs. And I’ll take a student loan to cover the remaining expenses. I cannot let go of this opportunity,’ she said.

‘But you’ll have to write the SATs. You’ll have to prepare for that as well.’ For some reason, I was quite convinced it was all a prank.

‘I’ve given the tests already. I’ve got an excellent score.’

I was stunned. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. ‘Wow! Congratulations, Kiranjeet. I can imagine how happy you must be,’ I snapped back, sarcasm lacing my voice. ‘Why did you not tell me all this earlier?’

‘Because you won’t understand my situation. You don’t know anything about my family. All I can say is that I don’t have a choice,’ she whispered.