“Oh. Sorry about that, I guess,” I say pathetically, but I’m starting to lose whatever ground I’ve reclaimed since Operation Balloon/Confetti Drop. Panic is prickling the back of my neck and my body is involuntarily leaning toward the door.

“It’s not your fault,” Nova says in a way that makes it clear it is my fault. She doesn’t make eye contact, which is fine by me. I want to be here exactly as much as she wants me to be here.

Simon’s voice manages to become even more boisterous. “Girls, what did we talk about this morning? About making our new family member feel welcome?”

“Nova has to share a room with us now because Mason is a boy, so he needs his own,” Second to Youngest says quickly. “And Mason can’t live with his mom because of the bad drugs. But she’s a good person who has had a hard life.”

We all freeze. Simon and Kate/Kaitlin simultaneously choke on something. Nova doesn’t look up, but I see her eyes widen, and the rest of the girls stare at me with their giant bug eyes.

Suddenly Emma’s cool hand is on my arm again. “Girls, we’ll let Mason decide how much he wants to talk about his mom. Right now we need to focus on helping him feel comfortable, and I think Mason could use some time to settle in and rest. Why don’t you all go to the backyard to play for a while? Mason, your room is upstairs, second door to the left. Think you can find it okay?”

I’m still seeing through the waves, but the floor steadies under my feet. “Yes,” I say quickly. All I want is to be alone in a room right now.

“Oh…” Kate/Kaitlin hesitates, then motions vaguely toward her clipboard. “That isn’t typically how placements work. I’d like to spend some time doing an icebreaker activity—”

“You’re welcome to stay, but we’ve come up with our own plan for that. Dinner, games, and a bike ride. I just wanted to give Mason a moment to settle in.”

Emma’s voice has authority. She is someone who is used to people listening to what she has to say.

“I suppose that will be all right,” Kate/Kaitlin says after a moment, and I can’t help but feel a tiny bit of grudging admiration for Emma. Usually the Kate/Kaitlins can’t be swayed. She continues, “Emma, I’d love to spend some time speaking with you about placement details. Mason, is there anything you need from me right now?”

A letter or a phone call from my mom. A home. A completely different life. But that isn’t something you can ask a sweaty social worker for. Besides, she will probably spend an hour or two with Emma before driving back to Boston. I shake my head.