A few times I see Nova smirking at me through the window as I fling myself around the yard, but every time I stop, Hazel begins hurling small objects at me while yelling things like “We aren’t leaving until this routine sparkles!” and “It isn’t right until we get this right!” which are sayings they learned from a show about dance moms.

The performing arts apparently turn young children into tyrannical monsters. Even Audrey keeps saying, “Um? We can… get this right?”

“I need to feel your emotion!” Hazel yells through a megaphone she’s made of paper. “You’re looking for buried treasure. Show me some feeling! And keep those toes pointed.”

They most definitely do not want to feel my emotion. But at least my rigorous rehearsal schedule is sort of keeping my mind off checking my fake e-mail.

I’ve only checked my new phone nine hundred times.

Finally, Simon appears at the door to ask if I have a bathing suit, which I don’t, so he spends a bunch of time going through his to see if he has one that works before ultimately deciding I should have my own, and Emma runs to the store to procure a bunch of swim trunks so I have options. Then it’s time for us to drag Nova from her cave. Only, none of the girls can find their towels or swimsuits, and then once they find those things, none of them can find their shoes, and then while they’re looking for their shoes, they lose their bathing suits, and Nova retreats to her cave again, and we have to drag her out all over again.

By the time we leave town, it’s after two, and I’m getting anxious that we’re going to miss the tour tonight. Like a lot of towns in New England, Manchester-by-the-Sea has become an expensive-beach-getaway-type place but has still managed to hang on to some of its original fishing village vibes. The beach itself is crescent-shaped, with white sand and moss-covered rocks, and once we’ve set up our towels and umbrella and the girls have been lathered up with sunscreen, they take off for the water.

Despite the chaos, it’s a nice outing.

The sand actually does sing, and we spend at least the first hour running around trying to get it to make different sounds. Afterward, the girls drag me into a rowdy game of Sea Monster that mainly involves them trying to kick sand in my eyes and/or knock me over. Finally, Emma orders them off me, and I seek refuge in the water, which is so icy cold that only Nova is up for it.