“Sweetheart, you have no idea how good it is to see you,” her mother greets me and hugs me too. Then cups my face and says, “You need some sleep and food. You’re too skinny.”

“Umm, yes, it’s nice to see you?” I manage to say, instead of, Lady, you’re crowding my personal space.

Why do moms keep telling me I look too thin while my clothes are like, “Keep eating all that frosting, and your jeans won’t fit.” I’m one cookie away from having to buy new clothes. Which I’m okay with. I don’t need to be skinny.

“How’s the new job?” Crystal asks. “I can’t believe I get to ask that after so long. Of course, it’s not new, but how is everything going?”

“Well, you know...it was hard at first. Getting used to a new environment and—”

“Without family,” she finishes for me, hugging me again. “I’m so glad you’re back.”

She frowns, looking at my luggage and holding my arms with both hands. “You’re back, aren’t you? Not just visiting for a couple of weeks.”

“Well, I’m moving back. At least that’s the plan,” I answer, pretty confused at the familiarity.

We haven’t seen each other for more than two years. Yet, here she is treating me as if I’m part of the family. I can feel the invitation to their family gatherings on the tip of her tongue. The answer is no. I don’t get along with my ex’s family, I want to say. But I don’t because they haven’t asked anything.

“I’m so sorry,” she says, clutching her pearls. “We meant to visit you so many times, but with your schedule and ours, it became almost impossible. Then, there’s Lola.”

Wait, why would you visit me? Your schedule and mine? I turn to Lola, not knowing what’s wrong with her. Should I be concerned?

I feel kind of crappy because what if she’s been sick? We’re not close but I like her. In another life, I wish we could’ve been friends. Looking at her from top to bottom, I spot the bump. She’s having a baby. Dammit, I want one.

“Congratulations!” I say. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thank you for everything,” Lola says. “I meant to call you but what can I say, it’s been overwhelming.”

Everything? Overwhelming…what is she talking about and can someone get me out of here, please?

“There’s no need for that,” I tell her, because seriously, what would she call me for? “I totally understand.” Not.

“That’s what he said, that you understood.”

“He must be over the moon,” Crystal suddenly says.

“Well...” who is he?

Are we talking about the asshole she calls son?

I hope he’s on the moon, without equipment, dying of asphyxiation.