Of all the things I was expecting her to say, that was not in the ballpark of any of them.

I am completely silent.

Lauren starts to go into how they are trying to diversify things at Van Doren, and I hold in a sigh because I loathe that word. She goes on to say that they are Listening And Learning and trying to do better, slipping dangerously into the territory of Cringey White Apologies, and I’m silently hoping she doesn’t bring up George Floyd or Black Lives Matter because that would seriously push me over the edge right now. I sincerely don’t want to have to be mean to her.

As she continues, I pretend to listen to her, and I halfway am, but also I’m low-key trying to imagine going back to work at Van Doren, by which I mean making a mental list of every reason this is a bad idea. At some point I hear her vaguely referencing everything that has happened with Taylor, mainly the fight at the hotel, since of course someone posted the whole thing on TikTok, but because she is white and trying oh so hard to be politically correct and is generally clumsy with these sorts of things, she tap-dances around it instead of coming right out and saying she is sorry that some spoiled rich girl attacked me. There is a quick mention of salary, which I quickly calculate to be a pretty decent hourly rate. I throw in a few yeahs and okays so I don’t seem rude. When she’s done, I still don’t know what to say. I don’t know if I should be angry or insulted. So I tell her I’ll think about it and hang up.

“Babe.”

I look up at Nate, a rightful look of impatience on his face. Then his eyes drop to my phone and he frowns. “Who was that?”

I pause. I’m still not sure if that phone call was real or a sadistic hallucination.

“Van Doren just called me, asking if I’m available,” I say, my voice faint. “It was the woman who fired me. She apologized and said they have an open slot in marketing. Said that she hopes I consider returning.”

He scoffs dismissively, and I fucking love how protective he is of me. “What did you say?”

I shrug and wander over to the shoe section of my closet. “I said I’ll think about it.”

“So what are you thinking?” he asks, following me inside like a new puppy.