rejoicing the relief of your departure.

i don’t think of you as often as i used to.

i don’t crave your touch,

or long for your tainted memories.

your heart has evaded mine.

completely.

no part of you

lingers inside of me,

you are not welcome

here anymore.

i’ve moved on,

leaving all your pieces behind.

one day,

i will meet a man who will replace you.

he will give me the love i so

undyingly craved from you,

filling the voids left within,

fitting perfectly in the

spaces left behind.

on that day,

you will feel the pain i once felt.

he will be everything you are not.

and you will be nothing to me.

you’ve made me into

the woman i stand as today,

not in the way i fell to

my knees for you,

but the manner i stood

on my own two feet as you

used yours to walk away.

i fixed myself,

not needing you to stay

around for long.

i understand now how

all i needed was

your departure.

i needed you to walk away

in order for me to

learn how to love freely.

so please darling,

stop apologizing for leaving.

it was one of the best things

to happen to me.

i crave a love that sinks oceans.

bruised knees,

weak grasp;

i’m still

praying for

you and i.

and all i want,

is to fall asleep

in your arms.

one.

last.

time.

the

softening.

you left. gone.

and i’ve spent too much time missing you.

trying to wrap my mind around this mess,

and all these unanswered

questions living in my head.

i let your chaos wreck my peace of mind.

thinking you were the one for me,

i convinced myself it was true love.

but i couldn’t quite understand

why you didn’t see it too.

now the pieces that used to fit

seem to be from different puzzles.

we are on different pages, in different books.

i see why we didn’t work.

you’ve settled down,

and i’ve never been one to settle.

i fight for the things i want,

while you’ve proven to

give up when things become difficult.

in a way,

we’ve skipped the messy bits.

and in ten years’ time,

i won’t wake up next to you,

resenting our life together,

and you won’t taste the

guilt of holding me back.

this was for the better.

thank you for all you’ve taught me
about love and loss.

heartbreak and redemption.

i thought you’d be the end of me.

but turns out,

you were just the fundamental

beginning of my astounding debut.

the key to a

happy life is

to stay soft

in this dense

world.

the truth is,

we will all get our hearts

broken at some point

during our lifetime.

we will break,

fall apart,

and even shatter.

we will wake up in the morning
with a pair of matching black eyes
and lips dripping of somber,
asking ourselves,

who have i become,

or

how did i get here?