So much for me and him ever going to see the orangutans in Borneo—he’d probably shoot them too. I know it’s not the same situation, but right now, it seems like we don’t see animals the same way at all. He sees them as just another part of an ecosystem, like rocks, mountains or trees, and not as real, living creatures with thoughts and feelings.

He replies, ‘It’s a different culture here, Sky. It’s not the city. Hunting is a part of life—there’s a long, rich, history with Native Americans, remember. Animals are a huge part of their lives. One moose can provide meat for a family for months at a time. I know many people who feel like it’s their connection to nature. And me too. You asked me before if I love animals. I do. And I don’t think it’s contradictory that I can love them and hunt at the same time. I know you’ve grown up with a very different experience, but part of growing up is accepting differences.’

Bonnie is glaring at him again, mouthing the word feelings, her face flushed.

I ignore her and say, ‘You mean I grew up far away from you. What would you know about how I grew up anyway? You left.’

‘You’re right, I did,’ he says. ‘But I’m never doing that again.’

He can say that now, but being together, having a relationship, is not just his choice anymore. It’s mine.

‘My brother says that too,’ the grey-haired woman says, then gives Bonnie a sheepish look and starts again. ‘I’m feeling like … it’s better to kill it yourself than pay someone to do it for you. More honest that way.’

‘It’s gross,’ interjects Punk Rock, picking up the crystal and throwing it in the air like a ball before catching it.

‘Put that down,’ Bonnie whispers angrily. ‘And that’s a judgement statement.’

‘That’s just my truth.’ Punk glares, rolling the crystal towards my father.

‘I’m feeling exhausted.’ Adam watches the crystal stop and then looks at me. ‘I spent the entire night searching for you, driving to the truck stop to pick you up, only to find you’d gone, explaining to the police and begging the cashier girl to tell me where you went. And after Jaxon finally convinced her, I drove the rest of the night to get here.’

I stare at my feet and the circle is silent.

‘Jaxon’s waiting in the car, by the way,’ he finishes.

I look up at him, unsure how that makes me feel.

‘This is more debating than sharing.’ Bonnie slaps her knees. ‘But would anyone else like to say something?’

No answer.

She gets up, brushes off her cargo pants, mutters something under her breath, and sounds the gong.

The women all get up. Our circle, broken.

Chapter 11

Chapter 11