‘I can’t believe it’s so bad. I’ll never get to New York. How did Jaxon get a thousand in a week? His single isn’t even that good … Why do you share his stuff anyway?’

I met Jaxon when I visited my father for the first time in Alaska a few months ago. Jaxon and my dad are really close, as Jaxon’s own father is mostly absent. When I first arrived, I resented Jaxon’s presence as I wanted time to get to know my father. But despite first impressions, we ended up forming a strong bond. Jaxon was there for me at some of my worst moments, like when I ran off, hitchhiked with a stranger, and found myself frozen and alone in a deserted bus station in the middle of the night. I tried to do the same for Jaxon after his father reappeared from days of drunkenness only to get arrested. Before I left, there was a moment between the two of us, but I stopped it before things went too far, and now we’re just friends. But while I want to stay friends with Jaxon, if it’s interfering with my relationship, I am prepared to cut it off. That’s how much I love Oliver. When I left Alaska, Jaxon’s band was about to be signed with a big label. Now, they’ve just released his single.

‘You haven’t even listened to it,’ I say to Oliver. ‘Anyway, he shares all our stuff; every single video. I asked you if it’s cool for us to stay in touch and you said it was totally fine, remember? But if you want me to unfriend him or something, I can.’

‘Whatever,’ Oliver says into the covers.

‘Be patient.’ I put my hand on his shoulder. ‘We’re competing with millions of channels. When you do a search on animals, have you seen what’s out there?

He doesn’t answer.

‘All the funny pet videos; the cat obsession is insane. And that’s just in the animal category. We’ll get there.’

‘Time’s running out.’ He shrugs off my hand. ‘The application is due in three weeks and it’s going to suck.’

Nothing I say seems to help. ‘You’re a great filmmaker,’ I try again. ‘They’ll see that. We’ll make our channel better than ever.’ I press my lips to his single freckle, my favourite spot on his face.

We lie quietly and I feel the heat from his skin transmit into mine. It’s moments like this when I’m desperate for him to say it again: those three words. I haven’t heard them since I was in Alaska—before the drama with Jaxon.

I force myself to sit up. ‘Okay. Time to make a video. Better than ever, right?’ I put my hand up for a high five.

Oliver remains face down.

‘Camera?’ I prod him.