He peeks out from behind a curtain, scanning the audience. I wave but he doesn’t see me. We’ve barely spoken since the police station, even though he’s been staying in the house. I get it. If I were in his position, I’d be pretty upset too. He was so worried about his dad, and when Doug finally got home he was so drunk he ended up in the police station. And then, instead of his dad making it up to him, Doug’s spent all his time crying to my father on the phone and begging him to come over to talk to him. Doug doesn’t want to be alone, Jaxon doesn’t want to be with him while he’s in this state, and Adam doesn’t want Jaxon to be with Doug and get caught in the firing line as he sobers. I heard them talking about it.

So, instead of me spending my final three days with my father and trying to work out our Mount Denali— the tallest land mountain on Earth—sized problems, he’s hanging with Jaxon’s dad. And even though I know it’s good to take care of someone in need, neither I nor Jaxon have fathers to talk to.

To make things worse, I’ve been dreaming about the moose every night, each time managing to save him, stop Ralph in time, or make a noise to drive the moose away. Once I woke mid-dream just as he was about to die, and then imagined a new way he could have survived and wove it into the ending of my dream. When I woke, I remembered the blood-streaked snow and realised it was all a lie.

Jaxon’s excitable puppy-dog spirit has disappeared. I miss seeing the spark in his eyes. He’s been lower key, working on his music, speaking to his band members, making last-minute changes, and I even heard talk of a new song he wrote. He kept asking if I was coming tonight so I guess he’s feeling insecure and stuff. But I’ve seen a dozen people around him, clearly good mates, so it’s not like he’s alone or anything.

People rush back and forth on stage, moving cords and plugging and unplugging instruments. The crowd’s even noisier.

I see an opening to my right as someone pushes through the crowd, going to the bar. I follow their tailwind and then cut left towards the stage where there’s a tiny space I can squeeze into to see the band properly. I make it to the empty spot, and the crowd closes around me so we’re elbow to elbow.