‘Thanks.’ Julia took the packet from me. ‘But don’t worry about getting more, we’ll have enough.’

‘Tim Tams!’ Tara piped up. ‘I want Tim Tams!’

‘What about your diet?’

‘All this talk about biscuits has made me even hungrier.’ Tara glanced at the kitchen bench. ‘I bet the others have brought healthy crap. Did you bake zucchini muffins, Mel?’

‘Chickpea cookies, actually, but I bet the Tim Tams taste better.’ Mel smirked. ‘If you all keep it a secret, I might even have one too. Lexie, do you mind getting Tim Tams?’

‘No, absolutely not. I’m so sorry about the nuts.’

Cringing at my stupidity, I picked up my bag. Bella was back inside again, still wearing the sparkly wizard hat. She rocked a baby doll in a cradle, taking turns with Zoe and Sammy. Here, she was surrounded by children of all ages. Surrogate brothers and sisters.

‘Bella, let’s go to the shop.’

She shook her head, dark plaits flying. Chestnut brown. The same colour as mine, now that I dyed it every eight weeks.

‘She can stay here,’ Mel said. ‘We’ll look after her.’

The other mums did it without a second thought—left their kids in playgroup and wandered over to buy groceries for dinner. And Mel was an expert at caring for other people’s children; she’d even set up family day care at her house, looking after Julia’s daughter Morgan on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and Zoe whenever Tara needed a break.

Could I leave Bella here and go on my own? I’d done it once before. Three weeks ago, I’d left Bella with the mums for five minutes while I went to the shop. Worrying every step of the way. I hadn’t told Marty about the test I’d set myself. Next year, she’d be off to preschool for six excruciating hours a day. Marty half joked that I’d be hiding out in the toddler toilets to keep watch over her.

‘Thanks anyway, but I’d better take Bella. She … she always gets to choose the biscuits.’

Bella was ignoring my outstretched hand and concentrating on piling all the dolls on top of each other into the cradle. Staring at the outline of her cast under her jacket sleeve, I willed the tears to stay unshed.

She would be safe here surrounded by the other kids and their mums. Safer than at home.

‘Bella, do you want to stay here while I go to the shop?’

It would take two minutes to grab a packet of biscuits.

‘Yes, Mummy.’ She picked up her wand.

I took a deep breath and ran my fingers down her plait. Bella blew me a kiss then dashed away.

I can do this. I can prove to Marty that I’m getting better.

‘Sammy.’ Bella tugged at his hand, pulling him towards the door. ‘Let’s play hide-and-seek outside.’