Did she see me for what I was—a negligent mother who had drunk myself into a stupor while Bella climbed a tree unsupervised? Did she tell anyone else in the village? Janice and Mr Whitlaw hadn’t said a word about my bruised face.

While Janice gave me directions to the farm, I prayed that Deirdre could help me find my daughter.

48 TARA

48

TARA

TARA SHUT THE FRONT DOOR AFTER LEXIE LEFT AND SWITCHED THE TV back on to Peppa Pig. As she settled Daisy in the cot, she felt her stomach cramping again. Fuck-a-duck. Had Lexie guessed about the Weekend Wrap interview? Or didn’t she know about it? She hadn’t even mentioned it. Little Miss Perfect. Still looking immaculately dressed with her daughter missing. Rubbing Daisy’s back, Tara chastised herself. That’s a terrible thought. The poor woman’s in pain. But the doubt crept back. Unless she made Bella disappear.

‘Please sleep, please sleep, Daisy, sweet Daisy, sleep,’ Tara sang softly as she left the room.

Josh had texted early that morning, said he loved her, explained that his phone battery had died and he’d call during the morning tea break. Tara answered on the first ring.

‘Where the fuck were you last night?’

‘Sorry, babe. We were at a work dinner then drinks till late.’

‘Bullshit, Josh. You’re not registered at the hotel.’

He paused for a moment and Tara wondered if he was in Adelaide for a reason other than work.

‘The main hotel was full—it’s a big delegation. I got offloaded to a cheaper place down the road.’

‘What’s it called?’

‘It’s serviced apartments—City Suites or something like that.’

‘Can you send me the number, in case your phone dies again?’

‘Course. I’ll do it as soon as we’re finished.’

‘I needed you last night, Josh. There was a story on TV about Bella.’

‘Sorry, babe,’ he apologised again. ‘This dinner with the Indian delegation went on forever. I’ll make sure my phone’s charged tonight. Ring me whenever.’

She couldn’t tell him about the interview now; he hadn’t even seen it. His desperate concern about Bella seemed to have been replaced by trade talks, work dinners and morning tea.

‘Gotta go, babe, they’re calling us back in. Give the girls a kiss from me.’

In the lounge room, Zoe was now engrossed in My Little Pony; maybe Tara could steal twenty minutes on her blog, see if her last post had attracted any comments. Switching the computer back on, Tara pressed her hands over her sore tummy. I am doing the right thing. I’m doing it for Bella. Wow, fifty-eight comments. The first one vindicated Tara’s behaviour but the second one said she shouldn’t break the ‘sacred rules of playgroup’. I’m not to blame. It’s not my fault. Lexie left the gate open. Tara started typing.

BLOGSPOTCRAZY HAZY DAYZ