Imogen unlocked the gate and I shoved past her, flying towards the footpath. Scanning, scanning, scanning for a glimpse of a pink coat.

But before I reached the shops, Imogen called out. ‘Lexie, over here.’

Thank God, she has found her. I’ll never leave her again. It doesn’t matter if I’m unable to let her out of my sight, as long as she’s always safe. I’ll stay by your side forever, Bella.

Running down the footpath next to the playgroup fence, I couldn’t stop myself from crying out her name. Behind the playgroup sat a small lane with a row of townhouses and six parking spots, including my Honda CR-V. Maybe Bella had wanted something from our car.

I needed to hug my daughter, to tell her: ‘You gave me such a fright, Tinker Bell. I love you to the moon and back.’

Imogen was standing near the road.

Alone.

Something dangling from one hand.

My boots pounded the bitumen.

Blood pounding. Head pounding. Stomach churning.

Finally, I was close enough to see.

A sparkly wizard hat.

This time, I couldn’t fight the black dots.

4 MARTY

4

MARTY

MARTY CHECKED HIS LIST AND FIGURED HE HAD A FEW MINUTES TO take a leak before seeing the next patient. God, he’d love a coffee, but there was no time for that. Walking down the corridor towards the toilet, a passing wardsman smiled at him. No-one had smiled in the hospital at Manchester.

He’d gone to Manchester to escape—to run away, if he was being brutally honest. At first, it had worked. Everything had been new: fresh faces and different systems. But then the doubt and the second-guessing had crept in. Even though he’d been cleared. One of the admin staff was a dead ringer for Nurse Natalie, the same glossy black hair swishing as she strutted into the canteen, braying hello to everyone she passed, determined to be noticed. In his dreams, the two of them merged together, Nurse Natalie opening her mouth, that wide deceptive smile, but a northern English accent coming out.

He never told Lexie; he prayed that she wouldn’t accidentally run into the woman at the supermarket or the bus stop. But Lexie had to deal with his nightmares and the thrashing about under the covers. Sometimes, she’d leave him to it and he’d wake, sweating, to an empty bed and his wife asleep in Bella’s room. Other times, she’d bathe his forehead with a washer and softly talk him to consciousness.