I flung my body to the ground at the entrance of the lean-to, my feet collided with the branches and the whole structure collapsed on top of me. A flicker of pink beneath the leaves.

‘Bella!’

Grasping the branches, I hurled them away from me, desperate to unearth my baby girl. She was here. Scared. Hiding in a safe place.

‘Tinker Bell, I’m so sorry—Mummy’s here.’

Tossing the last branch aside, I sat back on my haunches. My eyes had tricked me. A pink-and-white-spotted plastic tea set lay crushed in the dirt.

Please, God, I prayed, help me find Bella. I’m sorry for ignoring you for so many years. Please, God, please. I need your help to find my little girl.

I scrubbed my scarf across my face and wiped the wetness from around my nose. She has been hit by a car. She’s in someone’s shed, hiding. Bitten by a redback spider and dying alone somewhere. In a car, taken by a bad man. She can’t use her arm to defend herself. The trembling in my hands was spreading around my whole body, making my arms shiver, my legs, my feet, my heart, my brain. Please, God, where is she?

A wailing, keening sound cut through the air. The pain of a wounded dog. Then Marty was next to me, rubbing circles on my back, shushing me.

‘She’s not here,’ I whimpered.

‘Shhh, we’ll find her, Lexie, we will.’

‘The house?’

‘I’ve checked all the rooms. She’s not there. The house was locked anyway.’

Pushing to my feet, ignoring the tremors, I took three steps, aiming to run back to the car, to search the streets again, to find my daughter. But my body refused. Legs wobbling, I collapsed to my knees. My stomach heaved and I retched. Again and again and again, until there was nothing left. The vomit speckled my scarf, the knees of my jeans, my hands.

Marty helped me to stand, held my shoulders until my head stopped spinning.

‘Let’s just clean you up a bit, Lexie.’ He tugged me towards the back door.

Doesn’t he understand there’s no time? Is he trying to delay us on purpose?

‘Come on, Lexie. It won’t take a minute.’ He tugged me again. ‘I’ll check in with the police while you wash your face.’

I let him lead me inside.

‘I’m not changing my jeans,’ I told him. ‘There’s not enough time.’