I followed her into the lounge room, weaving between toys scattered across the carpet. Zoe lounged in a pink beanbag watching Peppa Pig on a big TV. Her eyes were glued to the screen and she didn’t answer my greeting. Some people apologised for the mess when their house wasn’t quite immaculate, but that wasn’t Tara. The dining table still had dirty plates and cups from breakfast. In the kitchen, I could see old dishes and packets of bread and biscuits out on the benchtops.

Tara clutched Daisy in her arms as though protecting her from me. The baby’s sleeping issues showed on Tara’s face—dark under the eyes, pale cheeks, her red hair limp and unwashed. She looked like me. The people who said the baby years were the best time of their lives hadn’t dealt with this. For Tara, a baby who wouldn’t sleep. For me, a baby in pain who needed constant medical attention while we were confused and fearful.

Could Tara really be the one who had betrayed me on the Weekend Wrap? It seemed like she didn’t have enough energy to get dressed, let alone ring up a reporter. I hoped her husband was helping out.

She put Daisy onto the floor with a toy and cleared a space at the dining table.

‘It wasn’t my fault, Lexie,’ she said before I could ask a question. ‘I was feeding Daisy. Zoe stayed inside and played in the home corner. I was breastfeeding and I didn’t move the whole time.’

‘So if you were sitting there, did you see where everyone else was?’

‘No, I was concentrating on Daisy. The others were looking after Bella and the big kids.’

Tara had been so wrapped up in her own baby that she didn’t even notice Bella had gone. It could have been any of the kids, I suddenly realised. No-one was paying enough attention. We all thought we were in a safe environment.

‘Can I ask Zoe about it?’

‘Yeah, but she doesn’t know anything—and she won’t be happy about turning off Peppa Pig.’

Dressed in pink polka dot pyjamas, her hair mussed up, Zoe was so solid, so real, so here. I replaced Peppa Pig with a stack of blocks on the carpet, and Zoe began building with me. She didn’t scream about the television going off as Tara had predicted. Instead, she smiled and offered me a green block to begin the pile.

‘Is Bella home now?’ The little girl looked at me hopefully. ‘Can I come to her birthday party?’

‘If you can help me, Zoe, I’m hoping we can have her birthday party. Did you have a treasure hunt on Thursday at playgroup?’

‘Mm, red lollipop. Yum.’

‘Do you know who made the treasure hunt? Who hid the lollies?’

‘Sammy said it was a secret.’ Zoe put a small hand over her mouth. ‘Uh-oh.’