I half laugh, half scoff. “She got married to the next guy she met. I guess when you know, you know.” And I wasn’t the one, which made that sting that much more hurtful.

She’s quiet for a moment as though she’s collecting her thoughts. “I’m going to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me.”

I nod for her to go on.

“Promise?”

“I just laid out my most traumatizing, embarrassing story for you. I’m certainly not going to lie to you about my favorite color or what color knickers I prefer on a woman.”

She doesn’t smile at my quip like I expect her to. “Do you still love her?” She sounds almost afraid to hear my answer.

My forehead wrinkles. “What? No, of course not. Why would you even ask that?”

She looks at the table instead of at me. “I don’t know. It just happened so long ago, and you still seem really hung up on it… I thought maybe that’s because you still have feelings for her.”

I lean in over the table and take both Kenzie’s hands. “It’s not because I still have feelings for Audrey. If anything, I can see now that she did me a favor. She was right to turn me down. The two of us were too much alike. Sure, it made things easy, but that’s just it.” I stop for a moment, wanting to make sure I say this the way I mean it. “I think I fell in love with the fact that we were easy. I had lofty ambitions and goals and she was happy to let me pursue them. I think what she realized before me was that things were easy because neither of us had that ‘I have to have you or I’ll die’ feeling for the other. And I think that’s what you need to make it through the tough times. Otherwise, you’ll just dust your hands off and let the relationship go when things get tough.”

What I want to tell Kenzie but don’t, for fear that saying it so early into us seeing each other will freak her out, is it that she’s shown me that feeling. I can’t stop thinking of her all the time, wondering what she’s doing, whether she’s thinking of me. I never did that with Audrey. With her, I pushed all thoughts of her aside when I was working on my studies.

“Does that make sense?” I ask.

She nods and gives me a small smile. “Yeah, I understand what you mean.”