Okay, before I keep sounding like a male-seeking-female want ad, let’s get on with how my day went into the shitter in a matter of twenty minutes.

I tell a few jokes, and the kids loosen up a bit. Maybe I should rethink the whole college baseball coach thing and go for stand-up comedy. I’m pretty good at this.

Fay taps my shoulder, and thank God, because I’m running out of material.

I pull the paper out of my back pocket and clear my throat one more time. “All right, everyone. We all know that Principal Miller has left us to enjoy her new baby, so we’re welcoming a new principal into our school. Our new principal for the remainder of the year is Dr. Radcliffe. She graduated from Yale with her doctorate in education. She comes here from the lower forty-eight, so make sure you give a big Alaskan welcome!”

About half the kids in the auditorium clap while the rest of them stare at the stage with an expression that only a bunch of unimpressed and uninterested teenagers can manage.

Time to grab their interest and get them to buy in. “Principal Radcliffe’s hobbies include streaking during football games, ferret racing, and taking surveys for money.”

The kids roar with laughter, finally looking as if they’re interested and want to be here. Fay steps up and nudges me.

“Sorry,” I mumble. “We’ll bring Dr. Radcliffe out to explain her hobbies in more depth.” I turn from the podium at the sound of heels clicking across the stage.

This is the part where my mouth drops open and my testicles jerk up, seeking protection.

See the auburn-haired woman walking right toward me? The one who looks as pissed off as Sedona did when I honked my horn in the parking lot this morning?

Yeah, that’s my new boss.

The new principal of Lake Starlight High School.

I don’t believe in kissing and telling, but I’ll tell you—this is the first and only principal I’ve ever given an orgasm to in the backseat of my Jeep.

DOWNLOAD NOW

Cockamamie Unicorn Ramblings

Cockamamie Unicorn Ramblings

The genesis of this book was the title. It popped randomly into Piper’s head a couple of years ago and we put it on the backburner until we could fit it into our schedule. The second thing to come was the meet cute—this is how a lot of books start for Piper because the meet cute is her favorite part of a book.