I push my free hand through my hair. “You have no idea. I mean, I was so sure. So sure. It didn’t even cross my mind that she’d say no. We’d talked about our future so many times and she’d never given any indication that anything was amiss or that she wasn’t on board. I was completely blindsided.”

“Did she give you a reason she couldn’t marry you?” Her voice is gentle.

“Nothing specific, no. She just said she’d thought it was what she wanted, but in the moment, when I was down on my knee, pouring out my feelings to her and asking her to be my wife, it just felt wrong. Said she didn’t know she felt that way until I’d asked the question.”

Kenzie cringes. “That’s rough.”

I frown and nod. “Yeah. And then besides being dumped and losing the woman I loved, everyone I cared for and respected was there to see the whole humiliation.”

The corners of Kenzie’s lips turn down and she squeezes my hand again. “I’m sure everyone felt terrible for you.”

I let a caustic laugh slip out. “Of course they did. You should’ve seen the pity in their eyes. It was mortifying. I don’t know what was worse: that night when everyone felt sorry for me, or a few days later when they all started to act as if it wasn’t a big deal, told me to brush it off, get on with my life. Said I was better for it and I’d find someone else. Everyone wanted me to have a stiff upper lip. Meanwhile, I was heartbroken and in pain. The future I’d planned, counted on, and could see with such clarity had vanished.”

My chest tightens as I think about how difficult that time in my life was. Not only was I dealing with a breakup, but everyone had borne witness to my failure.

“What did you do?”

I shrug. “Licked my wounds for a bit, and after a couple of weeks, when it felt like too much to stay in England because everyone I knew and spent time with reminded me of that moment, I applied for law school in New York. Suffered through the rest of the school year, then moved here and never looked back.”

She studies me for a moment. “And that’s why you hate Christmas.”

I pull my hand away from hers. “I don’t hate Christmas.”

“You certainly don’t like it.”

“I tolerate it.” I shrug.

It’s true that anything to do with the holidays inevitably reminds me of that time in my life.

“And the reason you were so weird when my brother asked Zahra to marry him?”

I nod. “I hate the reminders.”

“Where is she now?”