i think, now, i am redeeming myself.

relationship status: taken and happy.

we made it.

i know that it was hard. i know i was not always that kind to you (myself). but thank you for sticking around. thank you for staying while i tried to find my way back to you.

i see you and i see the rest of my life, now. there is no doubt.

i know now that you are the only one who will be here, always.

i know now that that is nothing to be afraid of.

i love you. i’m sorry. thank you.

i love you (me).

to emerald green,

i don’t feel the need to write a particularly long letter. the others have been goodbyes, but we have no need for that. we never will.

there is so much to say that i will never be able to really articulate. you do that to me, always have. there’s so many things i want to tell you that i cannot say with others listening.

i don’t think we make sense to some people. you are messy where i am clean, and i am caged where you are free. but we move like clockwork. i scrub away the dirt and you break open my locks. to anyone who bothers to look a little closer, we work better than anybody.

you have loved me in the perfect way. you allow me to grow, to stand tall, to bloom, but you keep me rooted. you keep me humble. but you never, ever tear me down. and that is how i always hope to love you.

i love you, always.

thank you for letting me become the person i was always meant to be.

about the author

Catarine Hancock is a 20-year-old Kentucky native. She has garnered an audience of over 100,000 on social media in the six years she has been sharing her work online. Catarine writes predominantly about love and its many aspects, both the good and the bad, and political topics that are dear to her heart, such as feminism and gun control. She is an activist, college student, and opera singer as well as a writer, and attends the University of Kentucky as a Vocal Performance major. Her first two collections, the boys i’ve loved and the end of the world (2017) and how the words come (2018) are no longer in print but can be read for free on Wattpad.

You can keep up with Catarine on her social media:

Tiktok: @catarinehancock

Instagram: @catarinehancock

Wattpad: catarinehancock

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Twitter: @writingbych

Pinterest: Catarine Hancock

Facebook: Catarine Hancock

about the artist

Divyani Jaiswal is an illustrator based in India. She is known on Instagram for her stunning digital art, and was the winner of the cover contest for this book. For commission information, contact her on Instagram @art_of_art__ or by email [email protected].