My friends. The ones I’m always with.

Were there any other guys there?

In the pub? Yes. Of course. But—

I can’t believe it. You were flirting with other guys?

No!

And so it would go on. She would retreat from his questioning and he would interpret her retreat as evasiveness and ask more questions. It wasn’t an excuse, but the truth was he was terrified of losing her, like he had lost Maggie, and in the end that had driven her away.

After she dumped him, things hadn’t gone very well. He’d been sure he could talk her round, if only he had the chance. She didn’t want to give him the chance, so he had called her a few times. Sent some letters and emails. Text messages, too.

Quite a few.

A lot, in truth. Six or seven a day, along with a handful of unannounced visits to her house, the last of them after a night in the pub the week before he started his last year of school.

He managed to hit her window with some pebbles, but she didn’t respond.

Louise, he called in a loud whisper. I only want to say hello.

After a while, the porch light came on and the front door opened. Finally. He could talk to her.

Her dad came out in his pyjamas, his face hard and fixed.

James, he said. You need to leave. Now.

I just want to have a word with her.

He shook his head. No. And you have to stop harassing her. I like you, and I know you had a hard time, which is the only reason me and her mum haven’t called the police in the last few weeks – although Janet wanted to, I can tell you that – but it has to stop now. OK? Go and get on with the rest of your life.

Which was what James had done. He’d woken up the next morning, head throbbing, and reached for his phone – see if she’d called, maybe try her with a message – and then stopped himself.

He pictured himself outside her window, drunk and pathetic.

Her dad was right. It had to stop.

And so he resisted the urge to contact her for the next week, and then started school and his last year of A levels and a life without Louise.

He thought about her many times a day at first, but after a while she receded from his mind, her place taken by friends and nights out and beer and weed and whatever other distractions he could find.

But no other girlfriends. He couldn’t go through it again, couldn’t put himself in the position where he was so vulnerable. The loss of Maggie would never go away, but he was over Louise, finally, and he wasn’t going back.