‘Fuck yeah,’ Pablo replied. ‘All the time. Women that age are desperate. Forty, fifty. Not getting any from her old man. You’d be surprised. And you know what they say about the older ones?’

‘What?’ James asked, painfully aware of his naivety.

‘Don’t smell, don’t tell, grateful as hell.’ Pablo grinned. ‘True, too.’

‘Has it happened to you?’

Pablo nodded. ‘Loads, mate. Fuckin’ loads.’ He held out his hands for the mugs. ‘See you in a minute. Or maybe not. Don’t wait for me. Get back to work.’

When he was gone, James looked at Ricky. ‘You think he’s got a chance?’

Ricky guffawed. ‘None,’ he said. ‘And he’s pulling your leg. He’s never shagged a customer, other than in his dreams. He’ll be in there now all polite. Yes, Mrs Turner, thank you, Mrs Turner, delicious tea, Mrs Turner, we’ll be out of your hair soon. Give it twenty seconds and he’ll be on his way back here.’

Ricky was right. It wasn’t quite twenty seconds – maybe forty – but the back door opened and Pablo – whose real name was Paul – came out. He walked over and picked up his shovel.

‘That was quick,’ Ricky said. ‘Even for you, Two Stroke.’

‘She didn’t fall for my charm,’ Pablo said. ‘I think she prefers the younger ones. Like Jimmy here.’ He nodded towards the house. ‘You have a go. Ask to use the loo. Leave the door unlocked and she’ll be in there after you. She’s a proper horny housewife.’

‘You watch too much porn,’ Ricky said.

‘You can’t watch too much porn,’ Pablo replied. ‘Gotta keep the pipes clean. So, you going to have a go or not, Jimmy lad?’

James felt his cheeks flush. ‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘She’s a bit, I dunno, a bit old for me.’

Ricky laughed. ‘I remember when I could afford to be choosy. You got a girlfriend? That bird you were talking to last night in the pub?’

James shook his head. ‘That was a friend. My ex, actually.’

‘She was all right, mate,’ Pablo said. ‘You dump her or did she give you the elbow?’

She was Louise, and she had given him the elbow the summer before. Looking back, he could see she’d been right to. They’d been together a while and he’d become obsessed with her. He thought about her all the time. Every morning he called her before school; after school he made sure they met so he could walk her home. He started to hate it if she went out without him; he couldn’t stop himself calling and texting to see how she was.

Mainly to see where she was, if he was honest. Who she was with.

Whether she was with another guy.

And when he saw her again he would interrogate her.

Where were you?

Out with my friends.

Which friends?