It was time to set himself free. The sense of relief now he had made the decision was overwhelming.

He felt the notes in his pocket. Two hundred pounds. More than enough to buy what he needed.

Thanks, Dad, he thought.

Martin

He didn’t cry until he was back in his car. He would have preferred to wait until he got home but the car was as far as he could make it. He had walked through the town centre, eyes ahead, back straight, lips pressed together, holding his face as expressionless as he could, rehearsing what he would say if he bumped into someone he knew who wanted to stop for a chat.

Great to see you but I’m late for a train. Sorry. Have to run!

No one had stopped him and he was grateful to the universe for that small mercy. He wasn’t sure he would have been able to get out even those few sentences without his words dissolving into tears.

He sat behind in the front seat, hands gripping the steering wheel, and cried, loud and hard, his shoulders heaving with each fresh sob.

His boy – his son, the baby he had held – was vanishing before his eyes. Maggie had gone quickly; James was slowly fading away. He’d been shocked to see him. His face was drawn, his eyes sunken and red. There was a grey pallor to his skin, and the smell – they’d been camping once in France and in one corner of the campsite there was a stream that he discovered was effectively an open sewer. That was what James reminded him of.

He didn’t know why. Why James was doing it, why Maggie had been taken, why he was being punished. What had he done to deserve this? Why him?

He wiped the tears from his eyes. While he was with James he’d wanted to stay calm, let him know he was loved and that his parents were there for him, whatever happened. What he wanted to do was grab his son and drag him home and lock him in his room until he was better, but he’d spoken to a bunch of different experts and one thing was clear: James could only get better if he wanted to. It had to come from him. Martin could try to get him to see how desperate the situation was – stage an intervention of sorts – but it would only work if James wanted it to.

That was the crux of it all. James had to want to stop. He had to see the drugs as a problem and not a solution and then they could start to get rid of them.