I’d finally been ready to move on. I’d wanted to give my first kiss to Jacob. I’d so badly wanted it to be him. And I’d thought it was him.

But of course I’d somehow messed that up too. And now I had no idea who I’d just given my first kiss to. My dirty kiss thief could be anyone on the football team. Or a drifter.

And the worst part about all of it was that I’d kissed my kiss thief back. It wasn’t just a peck that maybe I could write off. My first kiss had been one hell of a kiss.

If I hadn’t thought it was Jacob, I would have shoved the guy off. But I had thought it was him. I’d wanted it to be him. And now I just felt more lost than ever.

I sighed when I reached the red panda exhibit. Whatever reprieve I’d hoped to feel didn’t happen.

When I was little, I thought the zoo was the epitome of romance. I’d pictured my first kiss here countless times. It was easy, because I’d dragged Axel here all the time. And it was hard not to let my mind wander when I stared at him.

But he wasn’t here now. I was all alone.

I sat down on a bench and stared at the red pandas. I was pretty sure this was the first time I’d ever not smiled here. And if red pandas couldn’t cheer me up, I knew I was in a bad way.

I pulled my legs up on the bench, wrapping my arms around them. My bottom lip started to tremble.

God, how could this have happened? What other person in the history of first kisses had given it away to a stranger in a dark snake-infested closet? And liked it?

I groaned and closed my eyes. I think that was the worst part. How much I’d liked it. I’d built first kisses up in my head for years. And it hadn’t disappointed. The only disappointment was that I didn’t know who I’d kissed. Well, that and the fact that I was a slut. There was really no other way to describe it. I’d practically tried to climb the stranger in the closet.

Maybe I’d called Liam a slut so many times that I’d somehow manifested it and become one myself.

Ugh.

I opened my eyes and stared at the red pandas again. There was one on a branch with his butt in the air and his face in a bunch of leaves. He looked like he was faceplanting the branch. The adorableness couldn’t even cheer me up. And that was very worrisome.

I sighed. I felt exactly the same way as that panda. I’d rather faceplant this bench than ever face reality again.