Why would he be surprised by that? Her name was seared into my brain for eternity. Axel’s first kiss was supposed to be mine. She’d stolen it from me. And he’d willingly let her. That was the part that stung so much.

I wondered if I’d remember my first kiss as vividly as I remembered Axel’s with Ava. Hopefully my first kiss wouldn’t feel like throwing my heart into oncoming traffic.

Just thinking about it made me want to run to the bathroom and cry. But I’d just promised myself I was done with that nonsense.

“I think I need another drink,” I said. “If you’ll excuse me.”

“Well, don’t drink too much. You don’t want to forget your first kiss.”

“Oh, it’s going to be unforgettable,” I said. But honestly? I wasn’t even sure I wanted to remember it. I just wanted it done with. I’d put so much pressure on it. I’d dreamed of it a million times. All with Axel. But Axel was never going to kiss me. He just wanted me to be his friend, cheering for him during his game.

“Enjoy the rest of the party,” I said and sidestepped him. This time he didn’t reach out to stop me.

“Who?” he said to my back. “Who are you going to kiss?”

It was the second time he’d asked me. We both knew he didn’t really care about the answer though. And it was a little too late to suddenly pretend that he did. His shrug after I told him my plan was all I needed to know I was making the right decision.

“Who, Scarlett?”

Third time was the charm. I turned around but kept walking backward. “I always pictured it with you, Axel.”

He lowered his eyebrows as he stared at me.

I blamed the drinks I had on saying that out loud. But my tipsy self was proud of myself for finally admitting it to him. I’d certainly waited long enough. And my liquid courage didn’t stop at one line.

“But now?” I gave him one of his own signature shrugs. “I value myself a little more than that. You’re officially off the hook. So don’t sweat it.” I turned around and kept walking.

He wanted me to go have my first kiss with someone else. He wanted me to get over him. I blinked away the tears in my eyes. I didn’t even know why I was upset. It wasn’t like this was surprising news. And I’d already decided who I wanted to have my first kiss with.

Someone kind.

Someone who always made me laugh.

Someone who’d never purposely make me feel like a pile of worthless dog turds.