It was Majors who had come to her team last week announcing that Mrs. Crusoe would be seated next to that criminal BamBam Lystra at the summit dinner. Majors planned to announce this to the press to “demonstrate our absolute neutrality on the question of the purported rape,” and make clear that “personal disputes won’t get in the way of the summit and our mission to secure a stable energy future.” She’d nearly exploded with fury, instructing her staff to send back a message: if the president wants his wife next to BamBam Lystra, he’ll have to get himself a new wife.

That had seemed to put the issue to rest. Until her husband had extended an invitation to BamBam’s monstrous child, Rigo.

She stared at the Persian rug, unseeing and now nearly shaking with restrained fury. The manipulation was never ending. It was as though she was meant to stand for nothing, no values, no loyalties. Just play along.

Truth was, she’d been compliant, for years. Well before they took office. Before the campaign. From the beginning. She’d so rarely spoken up, so rarely made demands. She closed her eyes. She couldn’t fight them, but she could create trouble. She could make her husband’s life difficult. She would make sure of it.

THE EARLYBIRD™/ FRIDAY / 5:32 A.M.

THE E-NEWSLETTER TRUSTED BY WASHINGTON'S POLITICAL ELITE

Good morning, EarlyBirders™. Here are the morning’s need-to-know stories.

SIREN: MORNING MYSTERY! WHO FAKED THE FLOTUS PHOTO!? WHO LEAKED IT!? Send your tips to [email protected].

Outrage at 1600: White House Comms Director Adam Majors in a rare overnight statement: “The press’s reckless decision to broadcast a doctored photo of First Lady Anita Crusoe is exactly why America hates the media. As I previewed, the First Lady was home with a migraine and not with Mr. Lystra at the summit dinner. The president is disappointed in this coverage but continues to do the important work of ensuring America’s energy security.”

KUDOS: To ATN newcomer, eagle-eyed Ryan McGreavy. The first to spot the fake!

The Look: If FLOTUS had gone to dinner, two designer gowns were ready to go. A pink Alexander Wang cold-shoulder in silk-georgette or an ombré Kate Spade sequined strapless illusion gown. See them here: www.TheEarlyBird.com/theLook. Tweet our link!

**EarlySponsor™: GlobalCom’s SecureCorp™. Secure Your Reputation with Our eSafety™ Plans. We Scrub the Web of Lies Your Competitors Are Spreading About You.**

10

Whatever it Takes

Three hours. That was how long the receptionist at Salon Badem had told Natalie The Treatment would take.

“We process candidates for The Treatment a month in advance,” the receptionist had added, making the salon procedure sound like the CIA’s extraordinary rendition program, only less enjoyable and harder to get into. When Natalie had mentioned she was calling at the suggestion of Bibb Connaught, the woman’s tone changed. “Why didn’t you say? With this referral, we can place you immediately.”