Why didn’t she call me? I really would have listened to her. I always listened, didn’t I?

“You assaulted her.”

I don’t care anymore that Claus will give me a shock. My blood is boiling.

“Keep reading,” Claus says to Kate. “Then everything will become clear.”

I’m in the hospital for the first time in my life.

Pain all over, but I have to write.

Or I’ll forget what happened.

The paper has to remember it for me.

When I got back to the campfire, Kate was lying with her head on Lucas’s shoulder. Fender put his guitar down and rested his head on my lap. I ran my fingers through his curls. I loved it when he wore his hair loose instead of in a bun. He gave me a big smile.

I had to tell him the truth, that night.

Lucas looked at me over the fire. Did he know what I was thinking? I felt like I was caught in a trap.

“Want to do something fun?” I asked.

Fender opened his eyes and looked at me lazily. “Like what?”

Kate stood up. “I have an idea.”

The ruin in the woods must have been empty for years. The building was like a skeleton without any flesh on the bones.

Our flashlights shined from left to right like a sort of light show.

“Creepy,” said Fender.

“Magical,” I said.

The inside of the building was in even worse shape than the outside. The stairs to the upper story were rickety and creaky.

But I kept going. I wanted to get rid of Claus’s touch, and the adrenaline worked like a kind of shower.

When I reached the top of the stairs, I gasped for breath. The floor up there had collapsed. There was just one long beam running from one side of the room to the other. If I put one foot off the beam, I’d plunge down below. But I could see the stars through the holes in the roof.

I grabbed the bottle of wine that Kate was holding and took a few big gulps. I didn’t actually like it, and the alcohol made me dizzy.

“Come here.” I pulled Fender toward me and kissed him.

I didn’t care that we had an audience.

“What did I do to deserve that?” asked Fender when I finally released him. My lipstick was around his mouth.

It felt like it was our last kiss.

Like I knew what was going to happen.

I remember that moment.

Our last kiss…For me, it felt like the first. I remember being certain at that moment that I wanted to grow old with her.

How could I have been so dumb?