“Great.” Kate turns around to Lucas and Linnea. “You two go ahead. I just want to ask Fender something. Oh, and put it on the Zuidervanck tab—my dad’s paying.”

“Cool!” Without asking any more questions, Lucas drags Linnea away. For the second time, I’m left behind with Kate, who sits on the edge of the bed.

I feel my armpits sweating when she looks at me again.

“Okay, I’m done with this. You’re acting weird.”

I was right: she’s on to me. It’s not all advantages, knowing each other for so long.

“I know this weekend is tough, but we have to get through it.”

Kate has no idea how far she is from the truth. Of course, it was exactly a year ago, but that’s not the problem anymore.

The problem is in my jeans pocket.

“Listen.” Kate puts her hand on my arm. I look at the ring with the four-leaf clover on her pinky finger. It was their friendship ring. They both had the same one. They won them at the carnival. It was a kids’ prize, so it won’t fit around any other finger.

“I miss her too, Fender.”

She has no idea….What would she do if I told her?

I try to picture Kate as she was before Linnea came along. Broken. Do I want that Kate to come back?

“We have to move on, Fender. She’s not here anymore.”

Kate doesn’t know just how very true those words are. You’re right! I want to scream. She’s not here. She’s dead!

But instead I pull my arm away. I have to find out who sent us this message. Maybe I can solve it without involving Kate and Lucas. I need to figure out what this person wants from us.

“We have to keep moving on.” It’s a struggle to speak each of the words. “And that’s why we’re going to the bar now.”

Making a huge effort, I haul myself to my feet and hold out my hand.

As Kate stands up, the image of the hospital shoots into my mind. Exactly a year ago tomorrow night.

We faced each other by the coffee machine then, just as we’re doing now.

So many moments have vanished from my memory, but that one is crystal clear. Kate didn’t say anything. She did exactly what I needed.

She held me tight.

I didn’t know where my body stopped and hers began.

She was my life preserver. Without her, I would have drowned.

“I’m so glad you’re here this weekend.” Kate’s eyes glisten as she looks at me. “I can imagine how difficult this must be for you.”

Before I can answer, she puts her arms around me again. This hug feels very different from then, because now I know something Kate doesn’t.