It was a learning curve, she supposed – she was unable to justify her actions any longer. It didn’t mean she was going to be able to change overnight; this wasn’t a fucking film, where everything was resolved in an hour and a half, this was her real fucking life. But she could at least make a conscious decision this time to get the help that she so desperately needed. Surely that was a start?

Jake came running into her room, hyper with excitement.

‘Nana, one of Granddad’s friends said he would teach me to play poker! Can I learn it, please?’

Josephine was grateful Jake was distracted. ‘’Course you can! It’s a very tricky game, though, so make sure you listen to what the man tells you carefully.’

Jake Flynn was dressed in his favourite Peppa Pig pyjamas – he was obsessed with Peppa, and would happily wear these until they fell apart. He was holding his favourite book which he had tucked under his arm – he adored The Gruffalo and he had read it over and over again. He looked very handsome and so vulnerable, that Josephine felt almost tearful as she looked at him. He deserved much more than she had ever given to him. She had lost out on so much of his little life.

‘I like playing cards. I told the man that and he laughed! He said I was Granddad’s double, and I think that’s a good thing, Nana, don’t you? Dana is going to learn with me, so that we can play poker together.’

Josephine hugged him to her tightly. She kissed his thick, dark hair, drinking in the smell of Matey bubble bath and jojoba shampoo.

He hugged her back with one arm, before pulling away from her. Then he noticed the gun on the table in front of her. He said solemnly, ‘Nana, you better be very careful with that.’

Josephine could hear the underlying fear in his voice. He was six years old and already he knew that guns were dangerous. One day, of course, he would have to understand that, in the world his granddad lived in, guns were a necessity – a part of their everyday life. The charmed life that they lived came at a price, and that price was often higher than anyone realised. It was a dangerous life, and that was more apparent now than ever before.

‘I will, darling. I will be very careful. Now, you go and learn how to play poker. Don’t worry about anything. No one will ever let anything bad happen to you, I promise.’