Jessie was sitting beside her mum on the bed, and she could feel the warmth of her mother’s hands as she gripped hers tightly. It felt wrong. She wanted to pull her hands away, push her mother as far away from her as possible. But she still loved her mum more than anything. This made no sense to her. She was just a kid, only fourteen years old. She didn’t know how to react to the night’s events. She had been a witness to extreme violence and murder – something that would have frightened her had she seen it on a movie screen, let alone in real life. Now here was her mum, acting like it was nothing, as if it could be explained away and forgotten about.

Josephine brought her daughter’s hands up to her mouth, and kissed her fingers gently, so desperately sorry for the girl’s predicament. She’d do anything to take the pain away instead of having to make her daughter understand the importance of family loyalty, and how easily a careless word could destroy the life they had together.

‘Look, Jessie, I know you can’t understand any of this now, but you will one day. When you’re older and wiser, you will understand why I am asking you to forget about tonight. I need you to promise me that you will never ever tell anyone, not even your nanas, about this. You’ve already guessed how serious this situation is. You’re not a foolish girl. Remember, your father needs your loyalty now, and so do I.’

Jessie watched her mother carefully. She understood then that her mother would always put her father first, no matter what. She had sacrificed her own peace of mind for her husband many years before, and that was why she was so strange. Jessie did understand about the loyalty that her mother was asking of her. Family loyalty, along with being Irish Catholic, had always been seen as very important. Now her mother was asking it of her, and she couldn’t refuse. No matter what she might be feeling deep down inside, she suddenly realised that she could never, ever, turn against her own family. It was a real moment of revelation for her. The knowledge that, even after all she had witnessed, all she now knew about her parents, if push ever did come to shove, she would never breathe a word to anyone. The fear that had overwhelmed her was suddenly replaced with another fear – the fear of losing the only life she had ever known. She had no other choice, and she would do what was expected of her.

Chapter Eighty-One

Chapter Eighty-One