Michael nodded his agreement. Josephine spoke the truth: Carmel was living on borrowed time. He pulled her from her chair, and on to his lap. He squeezed her to him, enjoying the familiar feel of her body against his. He loved the smell of her hair – she was always so fresh and clean. Even now, without any make-up on, she was still a really good-looking woman. He could feel the extra weight she had gained, and he was happy about that. She had been so thin after losing the last baby. He had been worried about her, but he had known from past experience that she didn’t need to be constantly reminded of what had happened. Or question if it could have been avoided somehow. She just carried on as usual – it was her way of coping. But he knew that she grieved inside, that she hurt much more than she would ever have admitted to him or anyone else. He just respected her wishes, and he let her cope in the only way she knew how. If she cried in the night, he held her, comforted her. But, other than that, he played along with her, and pretended nothing had happened.

‘I can feel love handles, Josephine! I think you might be getting fat!’

She laughed delightedly at his words. ‘I eat lots of chocolate when I’m on my own. I put on a nice sad film, and then I break out the Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut!’

He liked hearing her sounding so happy again. It felt as if she was almost back to normal again. He hoped so. He missed her when she was grieving. It was mad really – all the money he earned, and all the love she had inside her, and they couldn’t have the one thing that they really wanted. The one thing she really wanted. Then there was Assumpta, who was carrying a child she really didn’t want. Any other father would have seen it aborted, for no other reason than the girl was a fucking idiot and no one in their right mind would trust her with a baby. She had enough trouble stringing a coherent sentence together. It was so unfair.

He sighed, and hugged his lovely wife tightly to him. As his mum always said, if it was meant to be, then it would happen for them. He wanted it to happen not just because his Josephine deserved it, but because he would finally feel she had everything he had promised her all those years ago, when they were just starting out and life still held endless possibilities. She had never asked for anything, she had always been there for him, and he knew how lucky he was in that way. Nothing he could ever do would change her feelings for him, she loved him without any strings, or any kind of expectations.

She was his world, and that would never change.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Seven