Josephine sat down on the nearest chair and wiped a hand across her mouth. She hated to think like that, but she couldn’t help herself. Jake meant the world to her and, even though she couldn’t bring herself to do much with him, she made sure that inside the house he spent quality time with her. He was already questioning her lifestyle, asking her why she never took him to school, or went for a walk with him. He was always asking about his mum; he knew she should be around more, that his friends’ mums were always there. He didn’t have his mum, and he didn’t have his nana there for him either. She couldn’t be there for him – she couldn’t leave the house, not even for her grandson. Jake was getting to an age where he was noticing these things.

She saw Dana pick her grandson up and swing him around. The girl was so good with him. She genuinely did care for the child.

Josephine could feel the erratic beating of her heart and the shortness of breath that heralded a panic attack. She was sweating profusely, unable to prevent it happening. Closing her eyes tightly, she concentrated on her breathing, taking deep breaths slowly and evenly, like the doctor had taught her. She felt the panic subsiding, and the terror left her body as quickly as it had arrived. Then she heard her name being called and, standing up, she saw that Jake was now down below her, on the patio, looking up at her balcony, his handsome face cross. He had his hands on his hips; she had been away with the fairies, and had not heard him calling her name.

‘Really, Nana, it’s not good enough, you know! I’ve been calling up to you for ages!’

As he stormed off, Dana looked up at her and shrugged, before following him into the house.

Josephine closed her eyes in distress. This was happening to her more and more lately; she seemed to be losing all sense of time and place. She saw her pack of cigarettes on the table, and she lit one quickly, drawing on it deeply. Then she smoked it slowly until the trembling in her body subsided once again.

Chapter Ninety-Seven

Chapter Ninety-Seven

‘So you’re sure she wasn’t there?’

Daniel Carter nodded. ‘I let meself in, Michael, as you told me to. I’m telling you, there wasn’t a soul in that flat. I searched everywhere. Jessie had definitely left the building.’

Michael expected as much; his big fear had been that she would be in there, but dead as a doornail. With her lifestyle, that wasn’t exactly unheard of. ‘OK. Thanks, Daniel. I appreciate it.’

Daniel Carter was heart-sorry that he couldn’t put the man’s mind at rest. ‘I can ask about if you want, Michael? See where she is?’