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Back Refuse
Chapters (54)
  1. Cover Page
  2. ICARUS IMPOSTER SYNDROME
  3. A THOUSAND CARDINALS
  4. BIRACIAL GHAZAL: WHY EVERYTHING ENDS IN BLOOD
  5. THIS LAND IS WHERE WE BURIED EVERYTHING THAT CAME BEFORE YOU: AFRICAN AMERICAN HISTORY AND CONCEPTS OF OWNERSHIP IN EARLY ELEMENTARY EDUCATION
  6. FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS #1
  7. IN A RARE MOMENT OF NOSTALGIA MY FATHER REFLECTS ON OBAMA’S FIRST INAUGURATION
  8. TAXONOMY REGARDING MY MOTHER
  9. I THINK EVERYBODY HAS A YEAR THEY NEVER REALLY LEAVE
  10. SUMMER AFTER
  11. ELEGY FOR THE WINTER AFTER TAINA WAS CANCELLED
  12. CHICAGO*
  13. WASN’T THE MINOTAUR BURIED HORNS FIRST: VULNERABILITY AND IDENTITY IN THE MYTHIC BODY
  14. A POEM ABOUT TREES THAT ISN’T ACTUALLY A POEM ABOUT TREES
  15. NEARLY 7 YEARS AFTER THE FACT A BOY WHOSE NOSE I NEARLY BROKE HITS ME UP FOR BRUNCH
  16. IN THE NETFLIX TRAILER OBAMA SAYS “I DON’T FIT IN ANYWHERE” WHILE ANTHONY HAMILTON PULLS A BURNING CITY OUT OF HIS MOUTH
  17. OBAMA SAYS “MUTTS LIKE ME” IN THE MIRROR EVERY MORNING WHILE I GET READY FOR SCHOOL
  18. THE ACADEMY OF ACCEPTABLE LOSS
  19. PREGAME PRAYER WITH COMPLETE CITATIONS
  20. COVERAGE
  21. YOU GOT MCDONALD’S MONEY?
  22. FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS #20
  23. FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS #51
  24. THE SPOOK WHO SAT BY THE ONCE BOMBED CITY: PSYCHOLOGICAL EXPLORATIONS OF ANCESTRAL MEMORY THROUGH THE LENS OF RACIAL BATTLE TRAUMA
  25. THE SPACE BETWEEN SKINS IS CALLED A WOUND
  26. TRANSLATION
  27. ON THE NIGHT I CONSIDER COMING OUT TO MY PARENTS
  28. (SELF) INFLICTED
  29. FRANK OCEAN SIGHTING #268: FRANK OCEAN IS RUMORED TO SPEAK OF RIVERS WHICH IS LIKELY A LIE (DISC 1)
  30. NARCISSUS IMPOSTOR SYNDROME
  31. THE AUTHOR IS OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR OBAMA’S LONG LOST SON
  32. INSOMNIAC SOLILOQUY
  33. MY FATHER WATCHES FERGUSON VOL. 1
  34. PORTRAIT OF MY FATHER AS SISYPHUS
  35. MY FATHER WATCHES FERGUSON VOL. 2
  36. PALINOPSIA
  37. POLICE DREAM #607
  38. PALINOPSIA
  39. ELEGY FOR THE SUMMER AFTER DJANGO UNCHAINED CAME OUT ON DVD
  40. PALINOPSIA
  41. REGRETS
  42. GHAZAL FOR THE SUICIDAL THOUGHT
  43. PALINOPSIA
  44. THE SEARCH FOR FRANK OCEAN OR A BRIEF HISTORY OF DISAPPEARING
  45. VARIATION ON A THEME OF GENETICS
  46. LESLIE ODOM JR. SINGS OBAMA’S ANGER ON NPR
  47. MERCY, MERCY, HIM
  48. TANKA FOR THE 4TH OF JULY
  49. ZEALOTS OF STOCKHOLM OR ELEGY FOR THE STILL ALIVE
  50. OBAMA WANTS TO BE CLEAR ABOUT HIS LEGACY
  51. OBAMA SPEAKS OF RIVERS BUT WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ON DIFFERENT SHORES
  52. NEGROTOPIA #3 (SELF PORTRAIT AS HEAVEN)
  53. SAD NIGGA MANIFESTO
  54. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Document

PREGAME PRAYER WITH COMPLETE CITATIONS

Our Father who art in Heaven1

Hallowed be thy name2

Thy Kingdom Come3

Thy will be done4

On Earth as it is in Heaven5

Give us this day6

Our daily bread7

And forgive us our trespasses8

As we forgive those who trespass against us9

And lead us not into temptation10

But deliver us from evil11

For thine is the kingdom12

The power13

The glory14

Amen15

1. My own father will miss pregame in the act of being a Good Son, of calling my grandmother who will accuse him of being a thief. For this small, repeated trespass, I briefly hate her. I ask you, bless his throat; that I might hear him as I cleave a boy loose from what he holds precious.

2. May the crowd have cause to say my name, may they find no humor in its mispronunciation, no confusion in its simple weight.

3. May the field be ours for all of October, may the Junior girls know a mosquito’s lust. May the mosquitos fail; may I be that kind of impenetrable.

4. Spare me.

5. There is a cabin on a lake with a name I cannot pronounce. I know that is where the white girls take the white boys and learn how to be a boardroom or a family or just a carefree they interpret not at all carefree songs to be. This cabin is far Lord, it is far and I am not invited. This is the only heaven I can see. May I crack another boy’s skull and in his defeat, find a key.

6. I know, I know this is the only time I pray. I promise what you know I will never deliver. Give me this day, tomorrow I will moan your name in a valley of ice and we can compromise, call that praise.

7. A boy wraps another boy in his arms and throws him towards the Earth. We call this “Eating,” we are never full.

8. Mercy my knees, mercy my ankles, mercy my groin its little ravine west of want. Mercy what is already torn.

9. Forgive the fact that I will not forgive the invited intruder, forgive that I am willing to die for what I am only renting.

10. I do this as a means towards sin, you know that.

11. Spare me the purgatory of a sideline where I might have more to sacrifice but didn’t. Spare me the agony of being the goat that survived.

12. There’s no place on the field that the spiral of the chapel cannot be seen and yet, I have never seen it.

13. Grant me the strength to place fear in the space I used to be.

14. Grant me the acceptance of people who will never return my calls after this year.