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Back Refuse
Chapters (54)
  1. Cover Page
  2. ICARUS IMPOSTER SYNDROME
  3. A THOUSAND CARDINALS
  4. BIRACIAL GHAZAL: WHY EVERYTHING ENDS IN BLOOD
  5. THIS LAND IS WHERE WE BURIED EVERYTHING THAT CAME BEFORE YOU: AFRICAN AMERICAN HISTORY AND CONCEPTS OF OWNERSHIP IN EARLY ELEMENTARY EDUCATION
  6. FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS #1
  7. IN A RARE MOMENT OF NOSTALGIA MY FATHER REFLECTS ON OBAMA’S FIRST INAUGURATION
  8. TAXONOMY REGARDING MY MOTHER
  9. I THINK EVERYBODY HAS A YEAR THEY NEVER REALLY LEAVE
  10. SUMMER AFTER
  11. ELEGY FOR THE WINTER AFTER TAINA WAS CANCELLED
  12. CHICAGO*
  13. WASN’T THE MINOTAUR BURIED HORNS FIRST: VULNERABILITY AND IDENTITY IN THE MYTHIC BODY
  14. A POEM ABOUT TREES THAT ISN’T ACTUALLY A POEM ABOUT TREES
  15. NEARLY 7 YEARS AFTER THE FACT A BOY WHOSE NOSE I NEARLY BROKE HITS ME UP FOR BRUNCH
  16. IN THE NETFLIX TRAILER OBAMA SAYS “I DON’T FIT IN ANYWHERE” WHILE ANTHONY HAMILTON PULLS A BURNING CITY OUT OF HIS MOUTH
  17. OBAMA SAYS “MUTTS LIKE ME” IN THE MIRROR EVERY MORNING WHILE I GET READY FOR SCHOOL
  18. THE ACADEMY OF ACCEPTABLE LOSS
  19. PREGAME PRAYER WITH COMPLETE CITATIONS
  20. COVERAGE
  21. YOU GOT MCDONALD’S MONEY?
  22. FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS #20
  23. FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS #51
  24. THE SPOOK WHO SAT BY THE ONCE BOMBED CITY: PSYCHOLOGICAL EXPLORATIONS OF ANCESTRAL MEMORY THROUGH THE LENS OF RACIAL BATTLE TRAUMA
  25. THE SPACE BETWEEN SKINS IS CALLED A WOUND
  26. TRANSLATION
  27. ON THE NIGHT I CONSIDER COMING OUT TO MY PARENTS
  28. (SELF) INFLICTED
  29. FRANK OCEAN SIGHTING #268: FRANK OCEAN IS RUMORED TO SPEAK OF RIVERS WHICH IS LIKELY A LIE (DISC 1)
  30. NARCISSUS IMPOSTOR SYNDROME
  31. THE AUTHOR IS OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR OBAMA’S LONG LOST SON
  32. INSOMNIAC SOLILOQUY
  33. MY FATHER WATCHES FERGUSON VOL. 1
  34. PORTRAIT OF MY FATHER AS SISYPHUS
  35. MY FATHER WATCHES FERGUSON VOL. 2
  36. PALINOPSIA
  37. POLICE DREAM #607
  38. PALINOPSIA
  39. ELEGY FOR THE SUMMER AFTER DJANGO UNCHAINED CAME OUT ON DVD
  40. PALINOPSIA
  41. REGRETS
  42. GHAZAL FOR THE SUICIDAL THOUGHT
  43. PALINOPSIA
  44. THE SEARCH FOR FRANK OCEAN OR A BRIEF HISTORY OF DISAPPEARING
  45. VARIATION ON A THEME OF GENETICS
  46. LESLIE ODOM JR. SINGS OBAMA’S ANGER ON NPR
  47. MERCY, MERCY, HIM
  48. TANKA FOR THE 4TH OF JULY
  49. ZEALOTS OF STOCKHOLM OR ELEGY FOR THE STILL ALIVE
  50. OBAMA WANTS TO BE CLEAR ABOUT HIS LEGACY
  51. OBAMA SPEAKS OF RIVERS BUT WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ON DIFFERENT SHORES
  52. NEGROTOPIA #3 (SELF PORTRAIT AS HEAVEN)
  53. SAD NIGGA MANIFESTO
  54. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

The not-question swells to the circumference of the iris of a pistol

I dream of windows when I feel out of place      am I always thinking of suicide?

Maybe not     maybe I just don’t know what I would be if I wasn’t tragic

but there was a time      Mid-June      a train whistle    sound wrought suicide

I am the worst thing that has ever happened to this family Who would notice

another Black boy obliterated by metal?      If it looks like an accident is it suicide?

I failed out of college      that same day       every sacrifice coating my skull

a bassline begging for a gunshot    some great songs end in suicide

I didn’t jump      I didn’t jump       I didn’t jump     I am sorry     I rode the bullet

train home like Icarus rode his father’s work into the sea    Is ambition a suicide?

Still I have my other forms of suicide        the unavoidable sin     of Checkers

insomnia       my lust    my house     how fast the train     how slow the suicide

PALINOPSIA