Should I confide in him? Truly confide? I had no one else to talk to here, and Jaxson at least had been a good friend to me in the past, which didn’t negate the following years where he’d basically acted like an asshole. But I was desperate.

“I think the Shadow Beast did something to me.”

He jerked his head, and it was clear that was the last thing he’d expected to come out of my mouth. “What do you mean? When did you see the Shadow Beast?”

I shook my head. “You know I don’t remember the time that he punished us all, but I must have been there, right? You all said I was there. What if, during that time, I annoyed him too, and this is the extra punishment I got?”

Jaxson shook his head. “You were there, but you didn’t go near him at all. Victor was punished first, and then the rest of us were locked down until he could ‘deal with us,’ as he put it. You were not on his radar for even a second, Mera.”

“Who else would have the power to take my memories like this?” I snapped back. “I’m a freaking wolf shifter—we heal head injuries—so it has to be magic!” I paused, realizing that for the first time, there was new information I hadn’t heard already. “What do you mean deal with us? Has he dealt with us in any way except releasing the stasis?”

Jaxson blinked at me before shaking his head. “Actually, no, and until you mentioned it right now, I didn’t think anything of it…”

My breath started to rattle in and out of my mouth in gasps. “What if I was the part he dealt with? What if it was me?”

Jaxson reached for me, but I stepped out of his way, not wanting to be touched. “Mera,” he said, shaking his head. “I think you need to calm down. I don’t know why you’re stressing so hard on this. Even if you did lose a few months, what does it matter? It’s sixty days. Nothing happened in that time that would impact you, outside of mating to Torin, and you still have the rest of your life with him. If that was the only punishment, then be grateful and move on.”

I shook my head. “You know I can’t. It doesn’t matter how easy that life would be, I cannot let this rest. Someone stole from me, and I want those damn memories back.”

He took another step forward, and I fought the urge to wrap my arms protectively around myself. I’d never been weirded out by naked men before—shifters were always in various states of undress—but ever since I’d “woken” in Torin’s bed, I’d avoided being around the men while naked.

It felt disloyal.