By the time Len placed a kiss on my cheek and disappeared from the castle grounds with the two mists, I was once again trembling and on the verge of losing it. Grief was a never-ending torment on my soul.

“Sunshine.” Shadow drew my attention. “You need to release some of the power back into the Honor Meadows.”

I heard his words but didn’t move.

“If you continue to hold this level of energy,” he tried again, “it will corrupt you as the stone did with Dannie.”

And still, I couldn’t make myself release the last part of Angel still with me.

“Mera!” A snap of command. “Come back to me, Sunshine. Step away from the darkness and return to my side.”

Technically, I was at his side, but I knew what he meant.

A sob wracked through me as I dropped to my knees, my hands digging into the ground as a scream built. “It hurts,” I choked out. “It’s killing me, Shadow.”

He got down with me, wrapping his huge frame over the top of mine as he cradled my body. “I know,” he said huskily. “I feel your pain and my own, but you’re not alone. I will hold you together until such a time you can do it yourself. Fall into me, Sunshine. Fall. Into. Me.”

For once, I did exactly as I was told. The scream faded when I collapsed against my mate, and he drew me into his lap, rocking me back and forth until I could function again. Shadow was the strong one today because I just couldn’t do it for myself.

When my heartbeats had calmed and I was able to focus, Shadow helped me to properly return the energy into the Honor Meadows, both of us building layers until I was only in possession of my Nexus energy. Then he lifted me, cradling my body in his arms. “You saved us, Sunshine,” he said as he pressed his lips to my cheek, and lips, and shoulder. “You saved us and the worlds and your creatures. You’re the fucking hero today, and we will honor you and Angel’s sacrifice.”

“Angel deserves it,” I said listlessly. “She gave too much, as always, and it’s not fair.”

I waited for his usual Life isn’t fair, Sunshine, but he never said a word. He just held me closer, keeping me together as he’d promised.

57

At some point, Shadow got us both dressed again, our friends well and truly having seen every naked inch of us as we dealt with the fallout of losing Angel. It was something I’d have joked with her about, but now, I just got to feel her absence stabbing in my chest.

“We should check the Nexus,” Lucien said, reminding us that this wasn’t quite over yet. “Dannie may be reborn, and we need to assess her threat level.”