“Mera, what the fuck?” he shouted, already on his feet, not remotely injured. “What is wrong with you?”

“I don’t know,” I bit back through gritted teeth. “All I know is that calling me ‘babe’ is pissing me off. Stop doing it.”

His eyes darkened, their deep rich coffee color reminding me of the old days. They were warm, like they used to be. Part of me wished that whoever had stolen my memories had also taken the ones from when my best friend had betrayed me. Maybe it would hurt less not knowing.

“You can’t keep pushing us all away,” Jaxson warned me.

Yeah, challenge accepted.

“I don’t want to be disturbed.”

He crossed his arms. “Tough shit, princess. You’re our alpha-mate, and as such, you need to present a united front with Torin at these events.”

I was gritting my teeth hard enough to crack them. “We aren’t united.”

It was clear that Jaxson was here for one purpose: to make sure I didn’t make our pack look weak. That was a beta’s job, of course, but if Torin was any sort of worthy mate, he’d be here sorting his own shit out.

Couldn’t respect an alpha who allowed others to fight his battle.

“Please, Mera,” Jaxson coaxed. “It’s good for you to start getting back into pack life. It might help jog your memory. Remind you of happier times.”

My first instinct was to snap that I had no damn “happy times” in this pack. I’d wanted to escape Torma for as long as I could remember, but somehow, during my missing memories, everyone else I’d cared about had fled, while I was still here.

Had I stayed for a reason? Why wouldn’t I have left with Simone? Was it part of the reason she didn’t want to talk to me?

It all just hurt, and I wanted it to stop. In truth, Jaxson did make one good point: My attitude was only creating more distance between me and the rest of Torma.

Maybe trying something new would shake me out of this dark mood. Books were masking the pain, but deep inside, I had been hurt. The need to figure out why and by whom was nearly destroying me.

“Okay,” I said softly. “I’ll be there tonight, and I’m going to make more of an effort to integrate back into pack life.”

Those words tasted like ash on my tongue, but before I could second-guess my new life plan, I called on my wolf to shift back. Only she never rose to the surface, instead sinking lower inside until I could barely feel her. I knew my eyes were wide and panicked when I lifted them to Jaxson.

He took a step closer, his face scrunched in concern as he ran his gaze over me. “What is it, Mera? What’s wrong?”